The Bitch is Back

Happy to Report...

I am happy to report that all is well with Holly, after a morning in the vet and numerous X-Rays I am thrilled to say that she has gotten the all clear. It turned out that she had a bit of soft tissue damage from being so hyper but it has already healed, at the moment she is 22 kgs and the vet said the limit for her weight is 25 kgs but tomorrow I will start her walking routine again which I am really looking forward to. The vet bill came to 105.00 Euro but I should get the most back from the insurance but it was money well spent for peace of mind.
Last night I emptied the Holiday fund, I had 335.00 Euro in change but it has already been ear marked for bills but I guess I can start the fund again and maybe get away later in the year.
At the end of the day Holly is OK and at the moment that is the most important thing to me.

Why do I bother?

Why do I bother? The question for today, I am so desperately trying to get things in my life in order but I have nothing but hurdles been put in my way. Over the last while I have been concentrating on getting my finances in order, I had even started a holiday fund which was doing quite good with the plan of maybe getting away to the sun in the next few months but today I had to clear that little account and cancel any future plans.
Holly has Elbow Dysplasia, a common condition in her breed which means the bones in her elbow are not developing properly, I have to bring her for an x-ray tomorrow and there is a good chance she may have to have surgery. The poor little mite has been through so much in her first 6 months of life and if this Elbow Dysplasia is not sorted out she will end up with arthritis, she has been house bound now for the last 2 weeks and I am really missing having her out.
Also I have my NCT (National Car Test) next Tuesday and already I have forked out €500 on the car and it hasn't even had a service yet, I am so pissed of with this all.
I have been trying so hard and doing so well in the last 6 months but feel that things are spiraling out of control at the moment, I am starting to get the old feelings back but have been using some techniques I have been thought to try and deal with it all. Things are tough at the moment I don't mind saying.

As Promised

Maturing

Dog Day Afternoon

I had a very distressing day today with Holly today, I was about to bring her for a walk today when she started screaming and lifting her paw, I didn't see her doing anything to hurt it but a few minutes she started again. I felt so helpless not being able to help her, I rang the vet but they didn't have surgery today because of the bank holiday so I had to bring her to the emergency vet in UCD and it turned out that her shoulder was inflamed, there are three bones that eventually grow into each other as she gets older and Labs are prone to inflammation as these bones grow. They gave her a shot to take down the swelling and I have to bring her to my own vet tomorrow and she seems a lot better now.
I love that little dog, she has been the best thing to come into my life in a while.

The Ugly Face of Harming

I took this picture last year after a night of harming, the idea behind it was to study the picture in the cold light of day and try and see for myself what other people see. Yes it does look bad and it is definitely not normal behaviour but what is these days. Everyday you hear on the news that one person has killed another in cold blood, a cruel callus act that ends another persons life and brings devastation upon there loved ones. What a harmer does is hurt themselves and if they keep it a secret they will harm no others, unfortunately this can not be keep a secret forever and at the end of the day you are not the only one hurting. I am happy to say I have been harmfree now for about 6 months and I am doing a lot better, I have taken steps since my last episode to ensure continued success and I intend to stay harmfree and sane for the foreseeable future.

Better Late Then Never

Well everybody seemed to think my Birthday was the 8th instead of the 7th, fair enough I suppose so I ended up going out last night for a drink to celebrate. I had to really push myself to go out as I am so tired and finding it difficult to get motivated in the last few weeks, I put it mainly down to work as I am crazy busy with the move.
I found myself over the last few days feeling very emotional, things keep making me want to cry but it never happens maybe it is because I don't have someone special to share that day with.
I have been making plans over the last while to do an overhaul at home, I am planning to hire a skip and clear out all the junk and do up a few rooms in the house, also change one room into an office as I am planning to start a little business over the next few months and hopefully make a few extra euro for the future.
Holly is doing good, she is going stir crazy in the house and driving me mad but hopefully on Friday she will get her stitches out and get that lampshade of her head so I can bring her out in the car and spoil her a bit.

Birthday Blues

I was 34 today and I didn't recieve as much as one card.
Happy Birthday to me:-(

The Deadly Lampshade

Well Holly came home today after being kept in for a night at the vets, she suffered a little bleeding but overall everything went fine. She now has to wear a lamp shade thing on her head to avoid biting on her stitches, she looks so funny and it is driving her crazy but on the plus side now we get all the channels.
I will post some pictures at the weekend.

Dog Worries

Holly is going in tomorrow to get done, I will drop her in at 8am and hopefully if all goes well I will pick her up tomorrow evening. I know it is a simple procedure for the vets but I am going to feel so guilty, she will initially think she is going for a walk and be all excited but when I put her in the car and leave her in she will not know what is going on. As she is such a hyper pup the vet will keep her on sedatives for 10 days so she will not burst her stitches and she will have to wear a lamp shade on her head. I can't wait till tomorrow is over.