How do I know if I'm ready to stop?
I posted this a while back but I never gave credit to the person who wrote it, Deb Martinson, thank you for a great article and for letting me post it.
Deciding to stop self-injury is a very personal decision. You may have to consider it for a long time before you decide that you're ready to commit to a life without scars and bruises. Don't be discouraged if you conclude the time isn't right for you to stop yet; you can still exert more control over your self-injury by choosing when and how much you harm yourself, by setting limits for your self-harm, and by taking responsibility for it. If you choose to do this, you should take care to remain safe when harming yourself: don't share cutting implements and know basic first aid for treating your injuries.
Alderman (1997) suggests this useful checklist of things to ask yourself before you begin walking away from self-harm. It isn't necessary that you be able to answer all of the questions "yes," but the more of these things you can set up for yourself, the easier it will be to stop hurting yourself.
While it is not necessary that you meet all of these criteria before stopping SIV, the more of these statements that are true for you before you decide to stop this behavior, the better.
I have a solid emotional support system of friends, family, and/or professionals that I can use if I feel like hurting myself.
There are at least two people in my life that I can call if I want to hurt myself.
I feel at least somewhat comfortable talking about SIV with three different people.
I have a list of at least ten things I can do instead of hurting myself.
I have a place to go if I need to leave my house so as not to hurt myself.
I feel confident that I could get rid of all the things that I might be likely to use to hurt myself.
I have told at least two other people that I am going to stop hurting myself.
I am willing to feel uncomfortable, scared, and frustrated.
I feel confident that I can endure thinking about hurting myself without having to actually do so.
I want to stop hurting myself.
posted by John @ 10:55 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
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this is a very good list of things to ask.
unfortunately for me, i dont have that many people in my life that know about my situation to talk about it with. And, it scares me silly to think about telling more people about my SH.
im glad you posted this, i may come back and copy this for my own records(if you dont mind). thanks :)
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HI John,
I am 23 and have self harmed since iw as 18. i was diagnosed as clinically depressed for a few years, until i relalised myself that i was just plain mad..tee hee
self-harming, i burn myself with cigarettes. 3 years ago i made a conscious decision to stop, all by myself, decided no matter how hard it is, i wont do it anymore.
except two weeks ago, i self harmed again.
I must keep your list in mind
Just leaving a comment to say that what you said there was really helpful to me and thanks alot. It's hard for me to picture a life without cutting myself when i get upset and/or frustrated but now i feel that it's more acceptable and that one day i will be ready to stop completely. Thankyou.
im 14 going on 15 and iv been self harming 4 3 years. i feel i have no one to talk to and im letting my mum and dad down. i dnt no how to stop or wen im ready. i say im gonna stop but i keep getting bullied and things hurt me.
i have perfessional help but i dont think it is working.im getting hopless and anngry with myself.
I'm 15 and I've self harmed for 5 years.
it all started really by feeling sad and i didn't talk to anyone about it, but 5 years on it's gotten worse, i had no help, and one day, i thought "dude, if you cut too deep this time you'll die" and i thought what a twonk I am lol.
but yeah, just yesterday, i cut myself again cos of relationship problems. i still cut but i don't do it nearly as often as i did, just sometimes, and even then it doesn't even bleed, I just kept thinking to myself "I WON'T let my emotions beat me, i won't" and i managed to stop. not completely,but i did stop mostly.
Well... I'm actually peruavian but I am self injurer... I know what does it feel like... I totally understand. I use to cut my wrists, actually my arms...
I have a blog... hurtingme-autolesion.blogspot.com.. It's in spanish but you can leave your mail by a message and I'll talk to you...
I've been self harming since i was 10 and now i'm 16/17. My self harming has got worse since last year, i've nearly been sectioned for it... 5 times!!!! When you've been self harming for a long time it is hard to give up because it's the only way you know how to cope with emotions. I don't think i'll ever stop self harming. I don't do it to feel the pain, i do it to kill myself. I've taken overdoses and tried to jump of bridges and cut my wrists deep and thinking about it scares me but i still try it again and again and again. I just think of my life and what it has to offer... and that's nothing at all...
hi i started self harming when something really bad happened to me when i 15 i am now 18 i stop about 2 yaers ago but sad i did self harm again lately as i am going through some bad things but i no i need to stop and think of my family
so i am saying that i must no - will stop as i have a sweet little niece and i love her to bit
and thank you for letting me talk about my self harming!!!!
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i'm 23 years old, i had been SH from the age of 14 but thought i was ok since i stopped last year. but right now i'm going through a hard time and i can just feel myself thinking things.. feels like i've taken 2 steps forwards and 6 steps back =(
i just keep thinking i wish i was dead! i dont wanna die, i just wish i could be dead.. i dont want to upset the people i love but i just feel like i shouldnt be here hurting like this anymore! i try to fill my life with things i love and try to pretend i'm happy because i dont want to hurt people's feelings!
when i was 16 my mum found out while we were at work (we worked in the same place) and she made it all about her and then every one i worked with found out and my boss made my life hell and i ended up walking out!
i feel like i'm right back there! all the feelings of hating myself and being so angry just come shooting back!
i really thought i was over it =(
I've been self harming since i was about 12, i'm now 20...for awhile i did stop, but this morning like an hour ago, i got some blades and cut myself....the reason was because i had a pathetic argument with my boyfriend. He knows what i do to myself, he tries to make me feel good about myself so i dont get unhappy and feel like i need to cut....like i said before, i stopped for awhile and let me tell all of you, it was the hardest thing i ever had to do mentally....this list is a very good one!....like many of you, i didnt have anyone to talk to, so when my feelings of depression and despair started, i kept to myself and bottled things up....but the best way i found to cope with it is...wrighting it all down on a piece of paper...reading it a couple of times and then burning/ripping it up....it helps, trust me!....just after my little cutting session this morning, i feel im rght back to where i was...the best thing to do is think of the possitives but if you dont have any in your life- make them happen!
If anyone needs to talk...e-mail me anytime!
sunshine_behind_clouds@msn.com
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