How to Deal With The Scars?
First and foremost make sure if you Harm that you treat you wound properly, clean them and use an anti-septic cream or spray to reduce the risk of infections.
I have done a little research on dealing with scars resulting from Self-Harm. I want to first note that I am not a doctor, and can therefore only give advice based on what I have researched and learned from the internet. Scars are a tricky thing. When in the midst of a self- harming fit, many WANT scars. In fact, I often thought, "the more, the better." However, this doesn't hold up after one begins recovery from self harm. Scars can be embarrassing, annoying, shameful, and incredibly triggersome. Some view their scars as a mere indication as to what they have lived through, but to many others, they are pain - filled memories, that should be erased any way possible.
I cannot stress enough that before doing anything drastic to your body, please consult with your doctor on which method best suits your needs.
Vanishing Creams and Such:
There are many new creams coming into the market that boast great results when it comes to erasing scars. However, these cost a pretty penny and may simply be scams. Therefore, I will not recommend anything in particular. If you are willing to take a chance on these antidotes, simply enter "Scar Removal" on your browser's search engine, and you will have multiple website's to read through.
The only cream that I have known to help (and it comes pretty cheap to) is Vitamin E cream. It is available in almost all drugstores and should be applied daily to decrease the appearance of scars. It can take weeks to start working, and it doesn't work for everyone, but many have found it even a little helpful or simply purchase some Vitamin-E capsules. Squeeze the liquid Vitamin-E from capsule and rub into the scarred area. Do this once or twice a day. How long the treatment is needed varies with the size and the age of scars. Small or fresh scars begin to fade in 2 weeks, if not sooner. Larger or older scars can take 2 to 4 weeks
There is also a new patch - type thing on the market which is to be placed over scars, and is supposed to aid in their removal. Again, I do not have a name, nor do I know if it is affective, but if you are interested, ask your pharmacist about it. (It is fairly new, so I'm not sure if it is out everywhere yet.) I also hear they are pretty pricey, but worth it if they work. (I will let you know more about this one when I find out more.
Curad Scar Therapy Cosmetic Pads:
There are 21 pads in each box and it was about €25. On the back of the box, it says that in clinical studies results were shown after 8 weeks. Some people saw results within 1 week. Scars (from razors) got significantly flatter and less pink, so you can only see them, instead of also being able to feel them.
Another cheaper method I found was:
Add half a cup of fine salt, 2 teaspoons of lemon juice and 2 teaspoons of olive oil. Mix together and place on scars leave for a few seconds, scrub with a soft brush and then wash off in warm/hot water. Massage Vitamin E oil into the scars! Do this once a day! The salt exfoliates, the lemon juice lightens and the oil moisturises! It is found to started working after 2 weeks but only on fine scars, raised ones don't seem to get effected.
Savlon ActivHeal:
They'll treat both new and old scars. (Up to 10 years old.) They're made of medical grade silicon based gel, and they're these thin, almost membrane-like sheets. In the pack you get two sheets, and they're reusable. You can cut them to size, and they're sticky on one side, so they'll stick to your skin. You can wear them day or night, for any length of time you like. (although probably, the more you wear them, the sooner you'll see results.) They've been developed specifically for hypertrophic scars(red and raised, no collagen build-up.), and keloid scars (red and raised, caused by a build up of collagen.) They flatten them and make them paler. It says that results should be visible after about 3-4 months. I can't verify that, because I didn't use them for that long (you can only use them on fully healed skin), but from what I did use and see, the scars did get paler. Quoted from the booklet: "No-one can explain exactly how this treatment works but it is believed that it may hydrate the scar tissue itself, creating ideal conditions for gentle softening & fading of scar tissue."
Another thing I wanted to say was that what I do sometimes to cover up scars on arms is to buy a support bandage, and put that on the arm. If people ask, I normally just say that I was in an accident and that I've got some scars that I feel uncomfortable about showing.
Elastoplast Scar Removal Patches:
You can buy them in a pharmacy, they are the equivalent of about €20 for a packet of 21 patches. They are supposed to work after 8-10 weeks, but it may take longer depending on your scars. However, they do speed up the process of scar healing. You have to wear them for at least 12 hours a day
Laser Surgery:
This option is very high on the costly list, and has gotten mixed responses. This option should definitely be discussed with your doctor before doing anything if you are considering it.
The surgery is usually performed on an outpatient basis, with multiple appointments. A local anesthetic is used on the area, and a laser burns away the scarred tissue. This can take several months and can be painful. Sometimes the scars left by laser surgery can even be worse than the scars you went in with. Contact your doctor for more information on this treatment.
Make Up:
Ok, so this will get some weird looks from readers, but this can be effective if you wish to lessen the appearance of your scars for a day or two. Apply a concealer that is very close in colour to your skin tone (the colour around the area of the scars) directly over the scars. Blend well, and cover with a similarly coloured powder if skin is shiny. There are also creams available at make up counters that reduce the look of red or purplish marks (it is usually green or purple in the bottle). Simply ask a cosmetician if it is available. Makeup won't necessarily make the scars vanish, but it can lesson their appearance.
posted by John @ 12:12 PM
126 comments
126 Comments:
hey john,
thanks for posting this. i have horrible scars on both of my inside forearms and am extremely embarrassed about them. i briefly looked into laser surgery but didn't follow through with it.
at the time that i self harmed the scars were the least of my concerns. when i came out of my depression and began to live, i felt very conscious and embarrassed about my scars. i see them every single day, and for me they are constant reminders of my sister's death and my hospitalization (i did my "best" work in there). sometimes people ask me what they're from and i tell them that i was in an accident, wiped out on my mountain bike or sometimes i simply say that it's an uncomfortable story that they don't want to hear about.
anyway, i will try to implement some of your suggestions.
thanks.
hey john,
i admire your courage soo much...i am a recovering self harmer and i find it very dificult to find help. i have two best friends helping me stop but i dont get help from my parents, teachers or counsellors because i am very embarrassed about it. I now know that vitamin E, lemon juice and etc..can help with my very shameful scars. It's great that you have put ur blog about self harm out there...im sure it will help many more...<3
and like that other dude who commented said...i also have to make up stories about my scars..."my dog was scratching me" "i slipped over in hockey" "ive been scratching bug bites" i have many more believable excuses i use and its very shameful...thanx a bunch<3
Thank you so much for putting this blog up, and for helping me with my healing. I fell into the trap of self injury only months ago, but luckily I "woke up" and realized that cutting only would make matters worse. At first, it was, as many people say it is, to get attention. But very shortly after my first cuts, I noticed that it actually did help me to cope, and to deal with my emotional issues. (Or atleast so I thoght.) It is a very poweful and overwhelming urge, and when you're caught up in it you don't think too much about the consequenses that automatically follow.
I never thought I would get any scars from what I did to myself, but the marks that i have on my left wrist are very visible and bad enough for me to constantly cover them up with all kinds of make-up and long sleave shirts. I take dance classes on a daily basis, meaning I need to be able to show my forearms. (allthough i have used clothes that prevented my scares from showing), until now that i learned that my red markes may be signes of permanent scarring.
It makes me feel better that, even if i'll never completely remove my scars, i will atleast be able to make old vices and rough times little less obvious.
Thanks again
hi,
I found this pretty helpful so I'm glad I came across this. I self harmed as a depressed and naive 15 year old and now as a mom and having a career in nursing where no-one wears long sleeves! I am desperately searching for removal tips. I have tried the elastoplast patches in the past and they definately do help flatten and fade scars a fair bit. I'm going to give some of your 'natural' methods a go and see if that helps. I also read recently that dermabrasion can help reduce scars. I've also tried specialist make up but I felt that made my scars stand out more, but hey, what works for some won't work for others right?
thanks!
hey there. im 23v west african male from Australia. I have a keloid on my neck that i got 8 years ago from chicken pox. It seems to grow bigger and bigger each year and it has got to a point were i feel so down that i dont want to live. i Know it sounds dumb, but when people look at you every day and ask what it is, iy makes you feel so low.
If any one knows the best thing to do to shrink and bring down the size of my Keloid, please email me kayo_101@hotmail.com
hello there,
thanks. i'll try some of these options out. my trouble with eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder is amplified each summer by the fact that i intentionally scarred my thighs so that i would feel unable to dress like any "normal" young female adult. if it had only been gashes, i suppose i'd be a lot more okay with it, but i screwed myself over by writing pretty bitter and untrue things that would obviously only raise questions if people saw them. my mother's been encouraging me to talk to a dermatologist about this, but, obviously i'm sick of doctors investigating my self-induced emotional turmoil and there is no need to bring that back.
i'm holding out hope for your tips!
thank you sooooooo very much.
My daughter "wrote" things on her thighs. I'd like her to see a doctor to remove the scars because I don't want her to be embarrassed and I don't want people to make assumptions about her. Since the scars are the result of self harm, does insurance usually cover the cost? I haven't seen any postings from people who've had laser or microdermabrasion.
Hi there,
I have scars on my inner forearm that I inflicted on myself. When I was self-harming, I did not care if I was left with scarring but now I feel ashamed and embarrassed about these scars. They do not seem part of who I am today. Subsequently, I have been looking into treatments for scarring. A cosmetic surgeon advised me that the best option for these type of scars was cosmetic tattooing.
Hi
I have a 7-inch surgical scar on my abdomen. it started out as a keloid and then I had it injected with steroids and it flattened out and spread, some areas atrophied looks like a had a tummy tuck right down my middle which is something that I now have to live with. The color is fading but it has been almost 2 years since my surgery. I am using this tape called Cordron and it has a steroid on it which is flattening some of the areas out. I think I will go back to vitamin e, or try aloe vera plant. Good Luck time heals all scars
i have scars all over both arms. mainly the forearms. i want so desperate;y to be able to wear lomg sleeves, but my scars are too noticable. you know how some people say they don't care because you hve to really look to see the scars... well mine are dark pink lines and many many white lines too.
i have this strange obsession with looking/admiring people's "clean" arms, just wishing i could be like them.
i would think the only way to make my whole arm anywhere near normal - is surgery. but i don't know if i'd be able to get that on national health. i doubt it.
hiya john,
you are so brave to post this, i have really bad scars on my wrists from self harming and although i dnt do it anymore they can sumtimes drag me dwn. i really want to get rid of them and i didnt actually think it was possible and i was losing hope till i foumnd this. im going to try ur ideas and will post u another comment in a few weeks to let u no wot has wrked best. thanks for this coz if i hadnt found it i wdv given up and the scars wd have always been there as a constant remninder
what a great website. I just wanted to say that I tried dermabrasion and then laser for stretch marks and finally a laser called "fraxel". I have scars on one of my arms that are very embarrassingly notable. I am a long sleeves in the summer gal and I am very bothered. I found fraxel laser to be the most helpful of the three treatments. I am up to about 3000 dollars trying to fix the scars, but they are still there unfortunately.
Thank you.
I am still a self-harmer... I suffer psychosis, depression and OCD... I probably don't need to say how horrendous it is to live with.
I have had to give up education and work with how bad things are and find it tremendously frustrating, given that I'm hoping to go to Oxford.
When I need stitches, the docs take one look at me, don't take me seriously with how covered I am in scars and don't give me the treatment I need... they put like 3 stitches into a deep wound when it needs 9/10, so needless to say they don't hold and break, don't even use enough anesthetic and so I'm left with disgusting scars....
I'm thinking of cosmetic surgery once I've managed to gain control again so your blog was incredibly helpful...
Thank you again,
Tinks :)
Hi there im an ex self harmer and have noticible scars on my lower arm, thighs and lower leg. i work in a hairdressers and now summer is here im finding really hard to cope it depresses me everytime i look at them and i always look at other peoples arms and legs to see if the have scars too.
hey, thanks for this, its helped quite a bit.Ive been self harming for the past 4 years, but im trying to stop now, as im sick of trying to constantly hide my arms and legs. Ive started using lemon juice to try and fade the scars a bit, cos apparently its like a natural bleach or something, and wont harm your skin, but will gently fade scars. So far, ive noticed a small improvement in some old bad scars that i had which are white, but when ive put it on newer scars, which are still red, they seem to just make it more noticable and make the colour stand out. ill keep trying it, but if it carries on making them worse, id advise to not use it on anything thats not had a chance to completely heal, as it will just irritate it even more.
its been a couple of days now since i started using lemon juice. and i must say, theres been quicker results than i expected.
the scars on my arms have faded considerably from a dark red, to a pink colour, but the old white ones have been unaffected. im not really bothered about these ones, but im really glad that it seems to be working on the red ones. i just hope i can stay away from starting it up again =/
Hey John,
I am a "recovered" cutter, if there is such a thing. I cut on a regular basis for 2 years and to date, I haven't cut in 7. I've learned a lot of individuals affected with this condition through my personal experience, encounters, and readings. One of the most predominate things I see is that almost all of us are of a more than average intelligence. Makes me wonder, and I wonder ever night, why we do such dumb things. Even though I ceased mutilating, I found new ways to harm myself through harsh drug use. Also in less tangible facets: excessive credit card spending, gambling, harmful relationships, ect... I can't say by any means I'm "cured." Albeit, I've started an honest recovery. I attend NA meetings 3 to 5 times a week, and I'm 2 years clean from using. In these meetings I've met a handful of self-mutilators and most of them are like myself. In high school cutting took me from an AP honors student to a dropout in 1 and a half years, a drug addict in 2. When I quit cutting, I had "no regrets." tattooed across a scar that almost clipped me, my mindset at the time was that I would learn from what I had done and remember what I was feeling then. I didn't think then that I was branding myself with another scar to broadcast and explain to the world. Now I've just completed intensive training to get AMT certifications so that I can work on jet engines. It is a very high paying and competitive field and the intense scarring and tattoo I have on my arms have prevented me from getting several jobs. People judge me harshly on them on a day to day basis. It is a harsh reality to deal with, and I am very much considering laser treatment or even skin graphing. Otherwise, I fear that the only people who will see who I really am are the other recovered addicts I see thrice a week. I'm a fairly attractive man and I've dated women who loved me until (excuse me) my shirt was off. Then they run away as if I'm some kind of freak, just because of the scars on my arms. I appreciate your website. It is nice knowing there are other individuals who have gone through this. Well, not nice to... you get what I mean, Nice to know we're not alone.
Cheers, Dunedin.
Its helpfull to no that i am not alone.I too have scars from selk har and burns all over my arms...now ive stopped but the constant reminder of bad times is always there. Peoples faces when they see eve if they dont ask the looks i get..I really want them to just dissapear now i can only look in the mirror when im drunk .
hey john,
im a 16 year old girl from australia and i've been cutting since i was 13. ive got hundreds of scars, most of them small, from knives, scissors, razors... anything sharp basically.
anyway, ive finally stopped! its been about 2 months since i last cut.
when i first started cutting and as i continued to do it i had no idea i would get scars. i dont think i even knew how you got scars.
i've been using vitamin e oil from capsules, bio oil, lemon juice and salt mix.
i've had a consultation with a plastic surgeon who said laser surgery wouldnt work on my scars, but other particular surgery would, but it would highly impact on my life. its complicated surgery, and would take about three months altogether.
microskin is a new product available, but it costs about $3500.
i've been using strivectin SD for the past few days and it has actually kind of improved the scars appearance.
anyway, if anyone wants to know more about that surgery or microskin, contact me.
Hello all,
I have gone in and out of cutting for many years. My last bout was almost two years ago and I am hoping that this will be the closure of this form of dealing with my issues.
My forearms are very scarred. They used to be extremely red and raised. A friend gave me a product called "scargo". You can get it or order it from a health food store. It is under $10 dollars I believe. Anyway....I started using it and was very very diligent. After several months my scars turned white and are no longer raised!!!! They are still there but much much better.
I have thought of getting a tatoo but I don't know if the scars would still be visible. I did have a seamstress make me some arm gloves which are actually really cool and I have integrated them into my personal style...although if you are a man this would not really work.
I hope this helps.
LIke nearly everyone else here, I have scars resulting for self harm, mostly on my arms. They're very visible, and though I try to live with them, wearing 'normal' women's clothing, I've never felt comofortable. Three years ago I had my whole left arm tattooed, which kind of makes me feel better. However, I get plenty of judging looks for having it, which makes me wish I didn't get it, then I remember that I'm covered in scars anyway. I had a relapse a couple of months ago, and gave myself a new set of gnarly scars on the other arm. All I can say is if you can stop yourself, do. I always get upset by how young the people are who post on self harm sites etc.
I've only seen two other people with their scars out, and I'm thirty. Perhaps it's time to show off, not be ashamed. If I can do it, will you?
It's made me feel better reading all of this, so thanks to you all.
Ok your all like older me and but started my age, im only 14 and started self harming beginning of this year when the pain of the loss of my mum hit me even though she passed away when i was six, I have used a blade all this time, but starting to use any sharp object i can find, for a few weeks i had begun to stop and everytime i was upset moved sharp objects away from me, I dont like people seeing my scars but i have told a few people and yet the people im living iwth do not know and i dont want them to im scared incase they find out, my skin is weakining already its mainly my arms but have cuts all on the side of my stomache and around my ankles. i am trying to find my own cure to get rid of them but using familiar ingrediants as u have suggested, thankyou for your ideas ill keep you informed on how my scars are doing x
thankyou for doing this, it will help me alot as I started when I was 15 and I am very concious of my scars especially at school, so thankyou so much
I have 14 scars on both hands , and about 3 of them looks critical and rised , i was drunk and in problems , i really wanted to die no too cut or make any attention , however i lived and i\m happy , since than every days seems better . I live in country where is really hot on summer but i wear long sleeves thin shirts it looks strange but not too much . I want to get rid of this crap and look normal http://www.microskin.com.au/examples.htm# someone posted this and it looks promicing . I dont have really much money to do surgeries but i will try to collect if i could be shure that's gonna 100 % work I wont write hope messages dont do this or that coz i dont udrestand people who are cutters . I wish that someone will find a cure for scars so we can all be happy .
This is a great website. I just recently cut my inner thigh quite bad with razor when I was very drunk and depressed. I soooooo regret it now.... I am a model/actress and now have to stop shooting because I can't explain my cuts, they are not scars yet I just did it 3 days ago. I will NEVER do it again but now I am so sad to have these scars. I think only about 5 or 6 of them will be permanent. I cut pretty deep on those ones... they are healing up but still open wounds. Is there anything I can do to help them heal "nicely" ? Or anything I shouldnt do? I have been putting vitamin e and antibiotic ointment on it. I guess my story will be I was riding a horse and got fell off and got caught up in a barbed wire fence.... does that sound real? hahaa... I know not funny, but all I can do now that its done is try to make the scar story interesting! Thanks, this really is a great site. I appreciate it.
hey think you for this posting i have big thick scar on my wrist and i am always trying to hide it or i forget its there and people see it. i was young and stupid 5 years later now i am always reminded and i found you by a google finding this posting and other blogs are helping me out thinks.
I have very very bad sself inflicted scars on my inner thigh, they are only like 2 momths old, but i read this blog after i cut myself and since them i have been using a combo od vitamin e oil, mederma and lemon juice atleast twice a day. I use atleast one of them twice a day that is. and it has helped significantly. they are still new so they are still dark colored and still even hurt a littel but i am amazed at how much the mederma helped. especially in the first few days. the vitamin e is great as well and the lemon juice isa great natural bleach. good luck all.
Im 17 years old and i got multiple scars all the way down my arms from the past of three years, from major depresion. I live in Alabama i don't know how to tell my friends about it. I try nt to speak to no one because they might wan to hang out and if i take my jacket off, they all start to stare and I don't know how to respond for them what had happened to me. They all stop talkin to me and mt teachers start to get concern about too much. I stop cutting about two years ago and I feel like I just threw my life down the drain. I can't go to the beach, the mall or parties without enybody wanting me to go without me taking my jacket off. I just don't know what to do...
This is a great site you have here, keep up the good work. We too are self harmers, i have stopped counting the scars on both arms, it runs to the top, no space left. It has affected my life a great deal, but somehow, I have come to the point where i don't care anymore. Just hoping still that one day our pain will end and then maybe there will be no need to cut.
thanks very much yhis was really helpful x x
thank you so much for this information it really helped me. i recently cut something into my leg like words and was wondering if it will leave a scar of what it says? if you know please let me know thanks again!
hiya..i self harmes about 2 yrs ago..ive bin using bio oil which has really improved the colour of the scars but i am still stuck with thick white lines which i dont know what to do with.. thank u for this info xxx
If you are going to a doc about treatment for scarring, be sure to call ahead and tell them that the scars are from SI, and ask if the doc has treated SI'ers. Check for attitude. I went to a plastic surgeon and was treated horribly. It was completely devastating. Call ahead!!
Hello, it is so great that this website exists!!! I am another person going through the trials and tribulations of scarring from cutting many many years ago plus a smallish tattoo I no longer like which I got very young. I need not go into the details of why i did it, ...emotional pain, a death in the family etc, but my main thing now is trying to deal with the scars. As a performer, I constantly come up against the problem of costuming and wanting to cover my forearm which has about 80 scars on it. I have not cut for over ten years, am a qualified professional, and yet I still feel mortified about my scars. I must admit, I have progressed to the stage where I wear short sleeves when out and about, but as soon as it is work or performance, I suddenly need to cover my arm again. I have looked into every possible avenue for treatment and basically nothing seems possibly except skin grafting which means you havea large, ugly graft site instead of scars, not a totally bad option but I am not sure about it. Like nother writer on this site, I do believe that we need not be so ashamed of our scars. A close friend said to me that lots of people have done stuff they regret, it just isn't visible on their body, it is on their insides, or acts that have harmed others. I hope we can al continues to come to peace with these scars, and remember, many other cultures have a tradition of scarring it is just that in the West, the body has become the measure of a person in the media's eyes and thus many other people too ( though of course society creates the media to start with). The body beautiful thing is perhaps a world-wide phenomenon now but the more people who can be honest about their body and its 'imperfections' (and yes I am still working on it!!!) the better. There are always going to be ignorant people who judge, laugh, mock, think you are a crazy person, but I must say, one of the best days of my life was when I went to see a psych after ten years of hating my body, and he told me he thought I was saner than many people, and he was an incredibly deep thinker and a truly good person so I trust his judgment. I really want to stop feeling like I have to apologise for my fucking existence and start enjoying who I am more. It helps to know that many other beautiful souls out there have survived the journey into the depths of despair and are still here to contribute to the world. I am with you madam 30 something who blogged above, it helps if we all, in our own ways, stop hiding quite so much and let other people deal with their problems about it but our problem is loving ourselves and accepting ourselves, then hopefully the judgments of others will lose much of their toxicity.
Much love to all of you and, keep up the beautiful struggle of living a human, enriching and true life.
and (sorry for all the dodgy spelling mistakes in my last entry) to the girl from Alabama,I know it is hard but just because you have got scars does not mean you are worthless or weird. There are heaps of very talented intelligent people who have scarring to different degrees, I know of a number of educated, highly functional and good people who have scars from self harm. I know I am preaching but I really feel I understand your battle and just remember, lots of us are going through the same thing, but remember, it's your life, you get to write the story, and just keep on your path and pursue the things you love, talk to people you can trust, and try not to assume that other peoples' ideas and judgments matter more than your own, cause they don't. Everyone is trying in their own way, to make sense of life and have a good life, so your path is as valid as each and every other persons'.
You see, even hearing about your struggle makes me think 'yeah why the fuck do we have to hide the residue from this emotional trauma. Keep breathing, and keep loving, and remember it is a big big world with room for all of us. (Sorry am playing the big wise sis here but this stuff is very close to my heart like many people who have written here). LOL.
I posted here earlier, saying how I cut my inner thigh very very badly and wanted to know how to help the scars heal. It has been about 5 months since then and ai have been using silicon scar patches and they are AMAZING. You can get them at Walgreens, Rite Aid or any drug store or just search online. They can be very expensive, but the drug store ones are about $20. Pretty affordable. They have done an awesome job onmy scars. They are much, MUCH lighter and much less noticable. Some of the less bad ones are pretty much gone. Just wantwd to share that I had PRETTY SEVERS SCARS and SILICONE SCAR PATCHES HELPED ALOT!!!
i said to all the ppl i know that i hate summer cos heat make me tired ...all u guys know the truth ... i have 20 cuts on my forearm ...
hey, i started self harming when i was 12 and it continued until i was 17. i now have hundreds, and i mean hundreds of scars on my arms. it is awful. at the time i didnt care but now im a mother and no longer suffer from depression, it is a real set back. i dont want to have to explain to my daughter what i done to myself. i have tried creams and talked to a surgeon who said no-one could do anything because there were so many scars :(
hey, i started self harming when i was 12 and it continued until i was 17. i now have hundreds, and i mean hundreds of scars on my arms. it is awful. at the time i didnt care but now im a mother and no longer suffer from depression, it is a real set back. i dont want to have to explain to my daughter what i done to myself. i have tried creams and talked to a surgeon who said no-one could do anything because there were so many scars :(
Hiya every1, its really helpful 2 read about all of ur experiences with self harming.
I started self harming with a razor when I was 14 for about 6months due to depression, I stopped when my family found out and got help from my doctor. Luckily I did not cut 2 deep and the cuts healed quickly with only a few small white scars tht were not noticable at all.
I am now 20 and recently (about 2months ago) got really drunk and a bouncer said some horrid things to me. This upset me alot and I ended up having a big rant to every1 shouting at them and it completely brought up everything bad from my past. I ended up cutting myself again with a razor quite deep this time as i was very drunk n my boyf found me doing it. My mum and stepdad also know about it.
I am now left with 8 long and qyt wide red marks on my arm between my elbow and wrist. I desperately want them to go away and feel so disgusted with myself for doing it again and guilty as its hurt ppl i love :(now summer is here im finding it so hard 2 hide the marks and I work as a part time waitress and have to wear a short sleeved shirt and the bandage covering my arm with the excuse of a burn isnt holding well as its been so long. Im also training as a teacher and dont want them there for the kids in my class 2 c wen i start a job in sept. :( I reli dont know wat 2 do n im hoping they will fade in time.
I'm currently using somthing from Boots (UK) called expert scar syrum ( about £5) and have been using it 4 a week, it says that i shud see a difference in a month with best results after 3 months! i'll have to let u know my progress!!
If any1 wants 2 chat about anything plz email me on sexyminx jj@hotmail.com :) as i know how hard it is 2 talk 2 ppl about it so i dnt reli talk :(
Jenna xx
Thank you for taking the time to post this!! I will try these methods for a huge scar on my leg that I carved 8 years ago...I wanna wear shorts again!
Thanks for posting this. I am trying to stop self harming at the moment, going through recovery. One of the worst things Ive done is the 'LOVE' cut on my arm. I didnt think about it at the time and Im really worried about it now, my family are taking me on holiday and that involves swimming, so yeah. I regret that. Anyway thanks for posting this, I will try whatever it takes to get rid of the scar this will leave
hi john,
really gratefull for this. i am trying to stop self harming but its hard to go to suport grous and things when your perants over bare i have been trying to hid the scars but i am running low on excuses for long sleeved clothing any way the one about the salt and lemon juice and oil works really well even though it says 2 weeks i just did it about 10 mins ago and there is aready a noticable difrence
thats your a top geeza
Hi Everybody, I just felt I have something to add to the discussion as I have not seen any males posting here and I thought my perception and my experience might prove valuable. I have 11 scars on both forearms. My left arm contains 10 of them and they have been the most pronouned. (I also have two on my right hand fingers from a dog bite.) Like many of you I have been in the position of being asked about them and so I finally decided to do something about them. Unfortunately, the one time I went to a doctor about them (ten years ago) I was told by the Dr. (almost instantaneously) that there was nothing he could do and was that a suture in my lip. (My lips were chapped at the time and ,genius that he was, perhaps he thought I was undergoing some kind of ritualistic abuse. Worst part is, he said it in a mixed tone of faux-heroism and ridicule and the visit lasted all of ONE minute. (Don't feel sorry for me tho.) Anyway, three years ago to this very day (6-04-2009) I started to work on them myself with my own "laser". I've been using a magnifying glass to focus the sun and burn them off. I estimate I've done this about 5 times now and have had my arm infected 4 times,including right now. But the strange thing is they ARE starting to improve. Originally, mine were colored normally, only EXTREMELY raised and noticeable. Now (once healed) they are much flatter, (and in the case of one or two), nearly gone. However they are "whiter" now and some are still just as noticeable only different. During these past three years I've used helichrysum oil and Bioskincare (both of which are very expensive), tea tree oil, and any preparation containing salicylic acid. If, three years ago, they had turned out like they are now, overnight, I would have been thrilled at the change. But I still have a lot of work to go, more burns, possibly including fat injections (for my adhesions, fraxel laser treatment (dermabrasion), and/or cortisone shots and cordron tape. So I estimate at least three more years to get rid of all ten, or at least get close. (Who knew scars were so persistent?) Anyway, I'm not going to suggest burning them like I did. I just wanted you guys to know what I used in addition to buring to help them heal. -There are developments now that could give us ALL hope, like extracellular matrix or stem cell treatment, so there is help on the horizon maybe.
PS- To get the redness down after treatment (burning), I use hydrocortisone, which might serve as a cheaper alternative to cortisone shots.
Hi,
I am so impressed with everyones honesty on here, it seems this affects more people than we realise - and articulate, deep, good people too. I self harmed about 15 years ago - quite extensively all over my arms, unfortunately although I am now on the way to achieving my dreams I cut twice in January and regret it but know there were many reasons it happened again - mainly triggers and coping mechanisms, long story.
Anyway, I am posting just with some info that may help. I have consistently sought ways to rid myself of my scars, all of the above are great. I recently found out about micropigmentation which is a kind of a tattoo into/ over scars which could improve the look of them. I also found out about 'Dry Needling' some info on which is in this brief link; http://www.dermagraphicsbymiller.com/scar.htm
I know there are some places in the UK that provide these two procedures - one of which I am going to soon. Dermabrassion is also supposed to help with general texture/ appearance.
It seems such a shame that we feel the need to cover up because of how society will judge us, and how we perceive the 'body beautiful' should be. I know I never show my arms anymore, and it really gets to me at times. Because we are all beautiful :)
I wish all those still struggling to stop all the very best, and hope you come through to find other ways to deal with what's going on. It's ashame this blog has ended, as it seems a good one.
Lotsalove x
hey, i am some scars on my left forearm from self harm a long time ago although i don't do it now, theyre not that noticable but im terrified of my mum seeing them and with the summer coming up how on earth can i hide them?? i wish more than anything to get rid of them because i know if she found them she'd be heartbroken. i really really want to just forget it all and be comfortable in sleeveless tops. ive been tring vitamin e for a week or 2 and it hasn't made any difference so i think i'm going to try bio oil. anything else i can do?? i'm getting really really worried xx
hey everyone. i started cutting myself when i was 16. most of my scars are on my thighs. i stopped cutting, but theses scars are a constant reminder of what i'm trying to forget. i don't wnt my older self to get punished for my teenage years ( if that makes sense). i really want to geth rid of them, please can you give me advice
i cut myself im actually trying my hardest to stop one stage i blacked out while cutting and when i came round i had a massive scar running down my arm im an 18year old girl and i hate the fact i cant wear tops as im so embarresed the doctor has started to help me because my scar is so big he cut some of it out and stictched it alot closer as the time i got it done the hospital put stapels in my arm im really happy now that the scar can be made thinner and im going back to get the rest of it done plus all the other scars i have i wish self harm didnt exist but it does the only advice i can give is to not cut with a razor blade and to instead cut with a bit of c.d or something not as sharp i know it sounds stupid but it saves you of going to deep with a razor which i have done
I had a very long and intensive self injury period in my life about 4 years ago. I was 27 at the time. I have hundreds of mostly tiny but visible scars on my arms.
As a part of my recovery I moved back to my parents' house but here I have been facing the consequences of my self injury on day-to-day basis. The weather here is almost always very hot and humid and I have to wear long sleeves all the time. Not only do I sweat more and feel imprisoned in my long sleeved shirts, people have been constantly asking me why I wear long sleeves. I tell them I am very allergic to the sun and have burns on them is starting to sound unbelievable because they are starting to notice that I wear long sleeves day and night, to clubs, to parties, to concerts.
I feel very ashamed and am so scared that I will fall in love with someone who will not accept me with my scars. They are a very sad memory of horrific times for me and I want to move on, but with my scars following me it seems impossible.
I was thinking of getting my arms tattooed. This would still mean that I would have to wear long sleeves most of the time (work/official parties etc) but than I would at least have the option of wearing shorter sleeves. People will stare and maybe more than with the scars, but than I can tell them the story of the tattoos presenting a very difficult time in my life. Without telling them about the scars underneath.
The tattooes will also help me 'not forget' those times. I want to move on, but I do not want to forget because I do not want it to ever happen to me again.
But to everyone out there; you are not alone. We are not alone....stay strong & positive.
This is a fantastic blog and really helps to make people with these scars feel less alone. Mine is a bit of an unusual post...
I cut myself almost every day for over a year, as well as being repeatedly hospitalised after ODs, whilst suffering major depression associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, but managed to more or less stop a couple of months ago thanks to intensive therapy from a wonderful psychologist. My left arm is literally covered from shoulder to wrist in 50-60 scars, most of them dark red keloid scars although some have started to fade. I live in the Australian tropics and after so long in long sleeves in fiendish heat and humidity I got fed up and have started to go out in sleeveless shirts, showing my scars in all their shameful reality. It's not as bad as you might think. Yes people stare, but then it is none of their business. I just remind myself that they have not had to deal with what I have and have not grown as much as I have through that experience so they have no right to bother me about them. I am soon to start at medical school so to be a doctor I really do have to be at peace with my scars.
The other thing I wanted to say is that I have been single for nearly two years and thought that with the scars I would never find anyone that could accept me. I have now been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past two months who completely accepts the scars and who I am. He even knew about them before we got together as we have been friends for a while. It is possible to be accepted whatever scarring you may have - perhaps not by the average street idiot but then is that who you want?
Anyway, that's all from me. I still have a long way to go and if anyone can tell me how to stop the horrendous itching that goes with these scars I will love them forever, but I wanted to share a few words of hope and encouragement. I feel very lucky to have got to where I am in my recovery and it is possible for anyone. Work at it. It's worth it!
I went to a plastic surgeon and asked him if he could do anything abuot the numerous 3-4 year old scars on my arm and he said that there was absolutely nothing he could do and that there are no creams that would have any affect whasoever as the scars are too old, and cream is only for 6 months - 1 year old old scars.
He said that there are 2 methods they have in plastic surgery, one is sanding - which he couldn't do as my scars are not surface, the second is covering it with another piece of skin - which he did not recommend as it would still leave scars to do the plastic surgery and it would crinkle in the middle. I was pretty disappointed to learn that I will have these the rest of my life..
That sucks. However, you may still be able to get them to fade at least.
Try "Dermatix". It's a silicon gel that I have been using for a couple of months and has really started to fade my horrible red scars. It's expensive as the little tube is designed for treating one scar rather than a whole limb but it does seem to work - my partner is even buying for me as he likes the results so much.
I know my scars will never go, and every time I go out in the sun they will get a bit more obvious, but if they at least become white like my oldest scars rather than bright red lumps I would be very happy. At times, I would seriously rather have my arm chopped off - that way I could really convince people that I had an "accident". Stupid I know, but I hate the scars that much that I get desperate sometimes.
Hiyya
So I have tons of old SI scars and I'm a 23 yr old chick whos done with SI, undergad and being depressed. Now that I'm preparing for grad school I'm also preparing myself for a better happier life, thus I've been looking up ways to get rid or lessen the signs of scar so, I read this blog and decided to try the salt, lemmon juice oil thing. I made about a half cup of Bio Oil, salt & lemmon juice and exfoliated my arm. It felt too good so I hopped in the shower and exfoliated my face & hold body. It must be the bio oil, but my arm and whole body feels as soft as a babys bottom, even the raised scars feel soft and smooth so thx much
I cannot agree more with the posts from people advocating showing our scars. From the reading I have done, there are a huge number of people out there who have reached such a degree of emotional distress that they have inflicted wounds on themselves. Yet, why is it that you never see anyone out there with the scars? As I have said in a previous post, I do now go out in sleeveless shirts as I live in a very hot climate. I am lucky enough to have a partner that gave me the courage to expose my arms initially and now a couple of months later, most of the time, I am able to go out alone.
Work is a different ball game. Uniforms at work consist of various shirts, many of them short-sleeved. As I am in a managerial position and it is a high-profile tourism venue, I am extremely self-conscious about showing scars at work as I don't believe I will be respected as a manager when something as personal as my scars are on display. My position is senior enough that I can modify my uniforms a bit - wearing long sleeved shirts under my t-shirts and refusing to wear certain tops. However, this is also the first job I have been in where I have seen someone else with scars. There is a casual staff member who has to wear the t-shirts and she has quite a few scars on her arms that can only be from self-harm. They are fewer and older than mine as they are white but they are unmistakable. Seeing her scars has given me the confidence to expose mine a bit more (the scars on my lower arm are much older than scars further up).
This is a very rambling post butafter reading other posts I am very fired up to say something and I think what I really want to say is that if we all started to show our scars, there would be enough of us out there that the scars would be a common sight. That is one way we can support everyone who self-harms - even those that we don't know. Solidarity can go a long way and hiding our own scars only increases the stigma and the sense of shame for everyone else with those same scars. I wonder when I walk through shopping centers here and see people in long sleeves whether they are hiding scars. At least some of them are and I hope that when they see mine and recognise them, that they may start to think about showing their own. Seeing the horrible scars may also help just a little those people who are still self-harming and not thinking about the consequences. I knew the potential consequences but was far gone enough that I didn't care and was in fact going for as many bad scars as possible. Now I am sane again and aiming for graduate medical school (I already have a first class molecular biology degree from Cambridge uni in England), my aims have changed somewhat.
If anyone has ideas for how to start a solidarity movement for revealing scars, then fire away. Let's diminish the shame and set ourselves free. People with scars from accidents and other illnesses may suffer distress due to unsightliness and wish people didn't ask about them, but at least there isn't the shame associated with them. Why should our illness be treated any differently??!!
Please feel very free to email me with questions, thoughts, ideas: freefromshame@gmail.com
Hi.
I'm a recovering self-harmer.
I have scars on my hands that I desperately want to get rid of. I've tried basically everything on this page ages ago and still have my scars :(
What's worse is that my lifelong dream is to be a musician and when I play some instruments the scars are very very noticable :'(
I cannot afford anything expensive and don't know what to do. If someone can help me please email: dancemyselftodeath@hotmail.com
All advice will be much appreciated :)
A lot of the suggestions are ideal for fairly new scars, but older scars are much more difficult to deal with, particularly as often there are many of them.
The only options I have looked into are tatooing;
http://www.dragonflyink.com/tattoo_scar.html
As I posted before, dry needling;
http://www.dermagraphicsbymiller.com/scar.htm
I had a scar tatooing procedure done, as well as dry needling. The tattoo was effective for a while, but you have to top it up and I can't afford it right now. The dry needling again needs a certain amount of procedures. I believe if you had the money (I know this is unrealistic for most of us) it may work long term - but it doesn't get rid of the scar.
I would like to just comment on Anna's post. I agree. I hide mine primarily for professional reasons. But why not start a solidarity movement of some sort/ some level. I don't want to sound unrealistic, as this will be incredibly tough due to stigma/ shame etc. But I like where you were going with the idea.
Here in the UK there is a self- injurer who is fairly vocal called Louise Pembroke;
http://www.tidal-model.com/Louise%20Pembroke%20Testimonial.htm
The challenge of 'coming out' is a big one, but not impossible. Like minded people coming together is an effective way to support each other and begin combating the silence around issues such as ours.
I read posts such as the last one and it makes me angry that people aren't achieving their dreams. Not because of who we are - but because of the shame of not being the 'norm' and basically being judged.
I couldn't follow my dream years ago purely because of my scars - and now I have found a different path and my dreams are slowly coming to fruition. It is possible.
Why change part of who we are to fit in and conform. There have been great figures throughout history who have fought against exactly this.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Hi, I have got over 15 years old scars from self-harm. Dont know what 2 do now as want to do nursing but wouldnt be able to wear the uniform as cant expose my left forearm due to scars. First time i am angry at myself for scarring my forearm!
will have to leave what i want to achieve.
Re last post;
I was offered a place at Kings College years ago now, and the only reason I didn't go for it was because of my arms. I had to come to terms with this, and moved on in a different direction, but still within the helping people arena.
I suggest maybe seeing if long sleeves would be an option? They do provide such uniforms for particular cultures etc. From what i gathered from talking to nurses at the time it would be fellow professionals who may possibly have issues, not so much patients.
Anyway, I hope you find a way to achieve your dream. If not, then be comforted by the fact that dreams can often take a different course, but still fulfill you if you open your mind to them.
Best of luck xx
I'm really glad I found this page.
I used to be extremely suicidal and cut and burn myself almost everyday. That was then. I havn't had the urge to cut in almost 3 years but I've got those ugly little scars. I've tried the vitamin e but thought the results were too slow so I bought a tube of mederma. I'm not sure if it's like the hydrocortizone creams ya'll were talking about but it's working, on the older and less pronouned scars at least.
What I find funny about my situation is that I never used to care about showing my arms, or legs for that matter and when someone asked I'd just tell them I had a bad childhood. Or make up something stupid. I once told a guy I was mauled by a bear, he didn't believe me. But in the last year I won't leave my house without long sleeves. The anxiety of people looking at them is so overwhelming. Because of it I wear a long sleeved shirt to work EVERYDAY. And it's quite an inconvienence. I guess it's just nice to know that I'm not alone =]
Best of luck to all of you
I have horrible scars literally from my wrist to my upper arm on my left arm. It looks like...well... apparently a number of things. I go through phases of being able to show my arm and phases of being so humiliated and ashamed that I dress in black from head to toe, despite the hot climate I live in but when I have shown my scars whilst wearing a sleeveless top I have had some very bizarre comments. Of course, I had one idiot who came up and said "jokingly", "what, did you cut yourself up or something", at which I just walked away and, I'm embarrassed to say, covered up again for many weeks. However, more often I've had people say, "gosh that must have been a horrible accident you were in" to which I just reply "yes it was, and i don't like to talk about it" which is the end of the conversation. I have had "wow, was that a box-jellyfish??!!" ( I live in Australia) to which I replied, of course, "yes, and hopefully I will soon be able to forget about it". Joking, I haven't a clue what that is comments from drunk people (I work in a job that leads me into contact with this) like "what shark got you" or "who branded you" are equally easy to brush off for me most of time.
If I am on a day off, I can sometimes show my arm if I am in a phase where I am not actively self-harming and they are just scars, but if I am at work (I am in a managerial role where my uniform does show some of my oldest, faded scars) I am very sensitive and anxious about showing my arms.
My thighs I haven't attacked for a long time so the scars are very faded and white which I hope the rest of mine will become, if I ever stop self-harming long enough to allow that to happen. I am in an active phase right now which is very upsetting but I am going through a relationship breakdown so is hardly surprising.
I hope this isn't triggering. It was certainly not meant to be. I just have a lot of emotion pent up right now and my therapist cancelled my appoint for a week so I really need to let some steam off.
I would love to hear some support form someone. I am fed up with forcing blood from my body but cannot seem to stop right now. My job demands that I am fully together, untouchable, strong and able to command teams of people to deliver perfect service, yet I can't see how I will ever move on from my self-harm.
it really sucks that i was given a beautiful body and i ruined it. not a day goes by where i dont think about wat it wud b like to have clean legs. i have looked in to lazor sugery but found it impossible to talk to the doctor. i felt so embarrassed and ashamed. i wish there was somethin i could do to make them completly dissapear. then i will no longer be reminded of the pain i once felt.
Hello,
Alls a recovered SI'er I've been searching for that magical cure to make my arms look nnormal again.
I've tried alot of creams and to be honest non of them work. All of my scars are old and white. Old being over 7years old. So creams dont seem to work.
A wee note on Scorpio73 mention of dry needinling. I tried this. Spent alot of money on it to be honest. I under went this treatment for a year having them every 6-8weeks. It didnt really work. Not to the extent I would have liked. It did have a little effect. It made my scars less raised and less shiny. However its an incredibly painful treatment, which I found only really showed signs of working when the woman worked deeper into my skin. Now when she was doing this without proper anasthetic it got to the point were it was unbareably painful. To continue this treatment would have meant undergoing general anasthetic (think thats what its called. the one were they inject it into the site) anyway. I ran out of money so cudnt continue this treamtment plus the woman wasnt keen on continuing using anasthetic.
I've also had the lovely experience of the NHS surgeons. I saw one man and i was hardly in his office long enuff for him to introduce himself before he told me there was nothing he cud do for me. Its nice to be judged.
I hope to find a cure one day. I search in vain.
Hi John,
Thanks for posting this blog. i am really glad that i am not the only one.(makes me feel better a little) i was 12 and was having problems at home, school, and being sexually harassed to the extent that i cut my wrist. even though i stopped about a week after i started and most of my scars(which are on my palms thank god), aren't noticable, i have one big white puffy scar on the middle of my right wrist. i haven't told anyone about it and right now i am 15 and i am tired and paranoid of hidding it with long sleeves and hair ties, but i am afraid that my family and friend will think diff and judge me on it. especially my family. it is bringing down my life and now i have this crazy obession to stare at other peoples wrist or look at my other one. i am extremely embarrassed and ashamed of it and is practically crushing me under the burden of it.
i want to get rid of it so bad but i dont know how. i have this vitamin E scar serum and scarzone and mederma scar creams but i am running out of things to hide it with, and the scar serums and creams don't seem to have a noticable effect. i am seriously thinking about secret laser surgery once i am in college or in sometime in the summer but until then i want to see if i can get rid of it before that.
what do you think? any advice?
- feeling helpless
Im 22 and Never in my life had I thought I would kill myself, ive known two good friends of mine who had and that will always trouble me...the first and only time I had cut my left wrist it wasnt for attention..I honestly didn't anticipate waking up the next morning but unfortunetely at the time I had... I had a perfect life, I've always had compliments on my looks.. without much trouble I was always a B average student..had several beautiful girlfriends..but to me that all seemed so superficial to what really matters.. all these material desires never had any influence on me because I knew it would never fill my heart with joy..I guess I realized all of this when I suffered from a severe cerebral hemorrhaging from a horse kick when I was only 7 years old, and just 2 weeks later I had a full recovery..85% fatality rate with a more than likely mental handicap..I walked away.. : / ANyway..at the time I cut my wrist and ignorantly most of my hand I was on a medication with symptoms of severe depression, I guess after being on this medication for 2 weeks the depression kicked in and upon several mundane living issues.. it made me question why I made it out alive with no mental deficites..unselfishly I always asked mysef why i was 'so special' and not the thousand of over children dying EVERYDAY...basically questioning whether or not I deserved a second shot at life. BasicalLy what I'm saying is that it could always be worse..before you even consider suicide or self mutilating youself..always know that you ARe here for a reason, even in the darkest times people DO care about you and that you should always strive to move forward..the more you suffer..the more it shows you REALLY care.
Hey guys
I am yet another one... I am trying Fraxel for my 8 years old inflicted wounds...three sittings are over... not much results...the last sitting was in July 2009... but i will keep on hoping for the perfect cure ...all the best
hi everyone. i,like everyone here, am relieved that im not the only one who has to deal with some of the choices i have made. i initially, had around 30 cuts which were all done on one drunk night when my emotions were all over the place. out of these, two are huge,long and deep(keliods)and six are smaller.
Like many have mentioned,this doesnt seem important at the time until you finally realize, it's forever. its been few years and im still recovering from a lil depression,a serious lack of confidence and nightmares in a social gathering(Its way better now :)). well, i remember being an outgoing person with so much confidence,great sense of humour(i cud make ppl crack up) and i used to radiate positive energy. i've been wearing full sleeves shirts now like many ppl in this situation!! .i even thought of myself as a messed up guy. guess wat? thats exactly how i started behaving towards others and thats how they started perceiving me..they way i thought of myself. i act suspicious when asking someone something because i don look them in the eye and am always "figity"(excuse my spelling if its wrong). i cant keep still and keep crossing my arms or shifting wieght (purely due to my uneasiness of having the scars. i do the exact thing i studied not to do(love learning about body language and working of the brain).The 1st rule in confidence is to have a positive body language. a negative body signal not only reduces your confidence but also spreads negative energy to others.
What im basically trying to say is what we think of ourselves is what determines how others look at us.like few of our friends have mentioned, we have to actually deal with it mentally and physically. well a lot of us, including me, have 1st thoughts about surgury and cover-up tattoos. More than this physical healing, is the mental healing needed. From my experience, wearing a full sleeved shirt was the way to go. i thought"its covered,no one can see it" however, i found only to my disbelief that covering up din do much in terms of confidence;it wudnt make me who i was (only in terms of confidence and behavioural charcteristics) before the cut.
I have been doing some research about a technique called E.F.T(Emotional Freedom Technique is a simple acupressure technique for releasing negative feelings). I would advice everybody reading this blog to TRY THIS. it works wonders!! this help you deal with watever you are feeling negatively. post dramatic emotional scars can be almost healed. So many people use this technique to deal with any negative feeling they have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY&feature=channel
i was quite a skeptic till i actually checked it out. u feel awesome !!
I have been using this technique for the past few weeks. i feel safer,more confident. i have actually come forward to read what others going through the same situation, are facing. i lived in denial and did not wish to share or talk about my experiences. today i stand before having understood that it takes more than jus the physical removal of the scar. Forgiving ourselves for bad choices we've made is very important. If we don forgive ourselves, who will? we are letting others judge you based on what you have done rather then what we are.
the only way to be really happy is to let go. For all the teenagers who face this problem,one word of advice. Talking to someone about it might be a nightmare,but,trust me,it will reduce a whole load off you chest.parents are a good bet. remember blood is thicker than water.Keeping scars to oneself can be very destructive for the mind.
If anyone would like to share their experience, it wud be great to have someone to talk to in this matter.Having said too much, i still have more to say and i am sure all of you too do !!. I am making an animation short film on what one goes through in this case. I would like for all of us here to collaborate to make something beautiful.well if you do want to , mail me at atpeacenow1@gmail.com
Peace
:)
You know what I found reading these comments? I'm terrafied of my scars fading :/ I just turned 16, I've been a cutter since I was 9, but it only became an addiction when I was 13. Most of mine are white and flat on the insides of my arms, but there are big raised red (keloid I guess!) scars on my forarms, top of my arms, and thighs... I want the red ones to go down and become white again, but I am kind of... scared of loosing them all together.. I don't know why.
Either way, thankyou for all the tips! I'll deffintely try them :D xx
To the person above who doesn't want their scars to fade,
trust me, you will. i thought the same thing when i was 13-19 as a cutter. now it is a constant source of shame. i am a nursing student and have to wear scrubs. when i reach over the patient or pretty much do anything, people stare. it is incredibly embarassing. when you get older, people don't ask you anymore (USUALLY!) what happened, but they definitely judge you more. and they don't feel sorry for you either. just uncomfortable around you.
i really really really advise you to not cut and to do things to get your scars to fade. if you really must cut, do it where you won't regret it (as much!) later.
i have hundreds upon hundreds of overlapping scars. i have two huge burns that take up half of my forearm. the minute i can save up some money (which will be years) i am getting surgery.
the time when i thought "these scars show i survived" is over. i just want them GONE. and yes, i still cry a lot and i have major emotional difficulties, but i see a psychiatrist and take an ativan when it's really bad. but i won't ever cut again.
Hi, I'm 15. I can't believe I cut myself. It's not something I'd do. I was so upset.. so angry with myself that I didn't care. It was a (severe) fight with my best friend that made me hate myself so much at 'that' moment. I used a comb to cut my left arm. Yes, combs can hurt you-a lot. I made three or four cuts, but one that was just already there made it look x10 worse..
Now I can't wear short-sleeved shirts, except with my jacket. PE is a struggle because the second I pull on my PE shirt I have to quickly slip into a jacket, before somebody sees my arm.
When my mom found out, I felt like I broke her heart. It's the worst feeling ever. But it's a good thing she found out because she bought me some Mederma cream that's helped a bunch(but not enough)...
Reading these comments has helped me to feel better, knowing I'm not the only one that goes through this every single day.
But summer's approaching, and I don't know what I'll do.. I want go swimming, and camping, but don't think I'd live through weird stares and nosy questions. Especially from friends..
Don't cut, people. It will ruin your life. :(
-k
thanks 4 ya help bud. Im 14 and i have 66 scars on my legs and 42 on my arms. I have darkish skin, like im permantly tanned (lucky me) but my scars are just there, staring me in the face every day! and on my arms to, one day my teacher saw and now all the teachers and sum students in the school no. even my mum found out from my best friends mum, but thanks 4 your help, ill try sum of them and i hope they work so thankyou! xxxxxx !
kid said
"i have this strange obsession with looking/admiring people's "clean" arms, just wishing i could be like them."
That's not strange mate, your not alone in that one trust me, I'm in a job where I have to wear short sleeves and I really want to get rid of my scars, but I think they are just things we need to deal with, i read somewhere to look at them as a badge, "I've been through shit you can't imagine and I'm still here so if you want to look at my scars fuck off!" that may not be very healthy but it works for me, strange looks and second glances become part of the normal day to day life, you will eventually stop noticing/caring what other people think of them
Hello everyone, I am Currently and have been a self harmer for some time now, and i want to get rid of the scars i have, but i am always creating new ones. Its hard for me, My mother knows but doesn't ackowledge the fact, and doesnt get any help for me. I am struggling between the decision of stopping or carrying on! Its So Hard
I also admire other people's "clean" arms,! :( I have tried to get rid of the scar but its a bit pointless because i am always creating new ones!. Thanks for the Advice
I have a six and a half year old scar on my wrist. It is obviously the worst one I have because of all the reopening and infections that has occured. I haven't touched it in about six months and it is still horrible looking. My wrist is permanently disfigured, but anyway to get the nasty yellow/white puff to go away is good enough for me.
I hate having to cover up at work and have like thirty hair binders to cover it up.
Thanks for posting and I hope that I can find success in one.
I thought I would tell my story and post it on lots of forums as these are the places where I learnt all my tricks and how to deal with the scars left from self-harm. I cut 7 years ago and was left with a mixture of small white straight scars, big raised scars and deep flat ones. For the whole 7 years I have covered them up with clothing….none of my friends and family have seen them. I now have a tattoo over them. Here is all my advise on covering them, reducing there appearance and getting a tattoo:
COVERING UP
Like I said I spent the last 7 years covering them up….fine in winter but a pain in summer! My tip is to where vests with very thin summer cardigans or shirts over the top. This is the best way to stay cool. People will constantly ask you ‘aren’t you hot wearing long sleeved’ (that drove me crazy!!), I would just say that I was sensitive to the sun and preferred just to cover up. Because everyone is used to it now I haven’t been asked that for years! If anyone would comment that they only ever see me in long sleeve I would just say I find it more comfortable and bush their questions aside. Work was a tricky one because I work in a nursery and spend summer inside. I would wear a long sleeve top under my polo shirt and of course some people asked me why. I said that I suffered allergies (dust mites, cats, dogs, etc) and if I touched one of the kids who had an animal at home I would come up in a horrible rash. Everyone brought it a kept saying how irritating it must be for me!!!
Swimming was another difficult issue. However I would simply find a way into the pool first (would wrap a towel around my arms after getting changed). Once in the pool no one would notice. Also I found a way of crossing my arms so you couldn’t see the scars (they are only on my left arm) which meant I could get out the pool and go on slides etc.
continued.....
NHS and LASER TREATMENT
About a year ago I decided I was so fed up with my scars that I would do anything in my power to get rid of them. So I plucked up the courage and went to my gp. They then referred me to a scar specialist who offered me laser treatment on the NHS. The treatment is lengthy as you have to leave a lot of time between having the scars lasered (they recommend about three sittings). Basically a machine lasers the top of your scar away. After the treatment the scars will go red and more noticeable, but after a few months they go down….then you have the next treatment. The reviews on this treatment is mixed. Some claim massive differences others say it made no difference at all. There is also a minor risk that the scars will stay permanently redder.
I decided not to go for the treatment as I came across another solution; getting a tattoo. I am going travelling soon and didn’t have time to get this treatment done (I wish I had gone to the docs sooner!).
TATTOO
Ok so I read a lot of forums and many mentioned getting a tattoo. I did and I am very happy with the results. I had branches growing up my arm with flowers and lots of buds growing off them. Firstly it is important to note you can still see the scars, however only in certain lights (only when they are caught in a shadow so you notice they are raised). The small white ones are invisible though!! Most people see only see the tattoo. The ones who do see the scars only see the few large ones (and not the lots of little ones surrounding them), this means its much easier to make up an explination and its not obvious that they are self-harm scars. There are a few things to note when tattooing over scars:
- Find the right tattooinst…make sure they have done it before. I went to 6 before I finally found one I was happy with. I knew it was right when I got there (Tat2-u in Reading….fantastic!). Don’t be embarrassed…I guarantee you will not be the only person they have had going to them with lots of cut scars!
- Black does cover the scars a bit better as you don’t notice the shadow. However I some of mine have colour over and I think the difference is minimal (unless you want an all black tat, its hard to get all the scars into the black part of a design)
- Choose a busy design with lots going on….this detracts the eye away from the scars and makes them fit in much better. Tribal tattoos or other block colour designs do not cover them well at all. Go for shading and if possible a natural design (such as flowers and vines). They are much better and look more natural as they can ‘grow’ around your arm and cover the tattoos. It looks even better if the scar is part of the design (one of my scars is the branch to a flower bud…you can’t see it at all!)
- Some scars are too deep to tattoo over…only one of mine was too deep and I think it helps as on its own it looks like a injury I got in a bad accident and after seeing the tattoo most notice that 1 large scar and don’t see the scars hidden under the design.
- It is a little bit more painful over the larger tattoos….but really the difference is minute! Plus getting a tattoo is painful anyway so I don’t think this should be an issue (its not unbearably painful so don’t let you put you off….and just think it’s a means to an end!)
- Some scars do need touch ups and some take the ink better than normal skin…just pre-arrange a price with the tattooist if any touch up needs doing.
- The scars have to be at least a year old.
- The ink in the scar can run (mine didn’t) so don’t do any detailed work such as lettering over it.
Continued....
.....
I can’t get a picture of mine to load buts here some pictures of other peoples result:
http://www.anatoliatattoo.com/gallery.scarcover.htm
http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/self-harm-cover-up-disguising-scars-for-a-fresh-start
http://news.bmezine.com/2007/07/15/cobertura-de-cicatriz/
http://www.imagitinations.com/imagitinations/tattoos/butterfly.jpg
http://www.ranchoeldoradohoa.com/shop/_cache/14%2032%20spark%20plug/img/cover_scar_tattoo_up_0.jpg
My advise is use the creams and the silicons first. Go to your doctors and have the laser treatment if its possible. These scars are something you have to live with your whole life so taking a year or two out to get them looking the best you can is worth it in the long run. Finally once they are as reduced as you can get them then go for a tattoo. Don’t rush into it. Make sure you LOVE the design and it is something you 100% want for the rest of your life. Also make it have a meaning….for me it is a new start. The sad fact is that the big scars will never go away. Having a tattoo hid the little ones and covers the big ones well. For me it was the best decision I have ever made.
My final bit of advice is read forums and listen to other peoples stories…this really helped me get through the lonely depressing times of living with my scars. You are not alone and there are others going through exactly the same thing. I hope my story has helped you and if you want to ask any particular question just post it on here and I’ll keep checking back. Good luck! xxx
Its so helpful to hear I am not alone. When I was 14-15 I went through a deep depression for many reasons... and I looked to cutting to help me get through it. I never cut too deep so my injuries don't sound as extensive as many, I never had too many noticeable scars. Now I am 19 and I recently had a relapse a few months ago because I was just so mad I didn't know what else to do... This incident left with some very noticeable red lines down my thighs. I am looking into volunteering at a hospital now and they have to do a physical... One of the things they look for is 'abnormal scarring'. This makes me very aware of the scars on my thighs, and I hope I didn't ruin a great opportunity! I will try some of these suggestions and hopefully they work... Quickly
To the previous poster, I identify with your concerns. I know for a fact that I have missed out on at least one job due to my scars as I could see the interviewer (in the medical field) studying the little bit of my arm that I expose where the scars are old and faded throughout the interview.
Still, officially I am pretty sure that they cannot discriminate on the basis of such scars, whatever country you are in. If they see "abnormal scarring" (who defines "normal"?!) they may just ask about it and make sure it is not a current problem.
Anyway, don't let it stop you from trying. I wish you the best of luck!!
hey john,
i really appreciate you taking the time to do this for us, hon.
i have a complex relationship with a guy, and when others disapproved, mostly due to legal entanglements, and the betrayal of trust that continuing the pursuit of that forbidden love demanded, it resulted in us being torn apart. although it hurt me greatly, being cut off like that, it hurt him so much more. the pain and dispair, rage and fear, motivated him to take a blade to his own flesh.
when he returns to me, i must know how to heal him, body and mind. if it is possible, then no matter the cost, i will make those scars go away. he's mine. he's my responsibility.
thank you so much, for being there for us in our time of need.
i appreciate it.
I have four one inch scars on my forearms from where I used to cut myself. It started when I was about 12 and lasted until I was about 19. I'm now 27 and haven't cut in 8 years. I have noticeable scars from cutting on my left forearm and 1 on my right. The horrible part is, I used to love my forearms and think they were beautiful. Now they're scared and I regret everyday having to wear long sleeves when I go to work or am around my husband's family. The scars are flat and all very lightly colored. One thing that would've helped immensely other than not cutting would've been to use some sort of butterfly bandage when I initially cut myself to keep the skin together. The cuts on my forearms were VERY deep. Had I used a butterfly bandage, the scarring would've been minimal. Another thing I've found helpful for other scars is neosporin or other antibacterial creams that help with the healing process. To cover them, I've tried everything from self-tanning lotions, to make up, and putting tanning oil on them in the summer. Nothing seems to help. I teach, and I'm constantly afraid of what my students and colleagues would think if they saw my scars.
amazing blog thankyou! I'm 14 and have a few superficial self harm marks on my forearm. (i think thats how you'd describe them) they aren't deep and they are small but i'm so self concious!! i cry everytime i look at them, and its ridiculous that something so small can have such a massive impact on my life. im going on holiday next week i tan VERY easily so do you think the marks will just blend in in the sun? (they are mostly light brown or at certain parts of the day red or pink marks they arent raised) please someone help me! x
I found this blog while i am trying to find ways to get rid of my scars. I used to cut when i was in middle school very heavily, and slowly stopped. my last ones were about 2 years ago, and those ones were the worst. it was back when i was coming out of a horrible breakup and i, the dumbass, thought i was never going to ever wear shorts so i did it on my leg. Now i regret those the most because i do waer shorts, skirts, and i want to swim without wearing shorts, and id like to model too. The ones on my arm are ok i guess. I could live with them cuz they are older and fainter, but i still get asked...what happened? I either say my cat or i fell out of a tree or i was in a fire. Im sick of making excuses for my past, im NOT that person anymore. I used to think my scars told a story of me, yeah the old me. I have started a new life: i came out of my depression, got older, and moved on from my dark days. I dont try to cover up my arms, but my leg is horrible cuz they are still purpleish red and raised and ugly. they make me feel ugly, and i even hate it when my boyfriend sees them. I hate them. Ive tried cocoa butter and i think that helped a little to fade. I cant afford 3,000 dollars of medical expenses, cuz im sure as hell insurance doesnt pay for it. I was reading through some of the comments and am surprised that so many people are going through what im going through. I am stepping up and want to be a counselor to middle schoolers, especially young girls that may be going through what i did. Because those descisions we made when we were younger has changed our lives, both in good and bad ways. I am taking some of your advice, if i find out anything i will repost. Thank you all so much--we all need a strong support group to finally break free of our past selves.
Much appreciation,
Molly
hey there
i read all the blog helping me to see i'm not alone and wanted to share my own, which is very similar at some point...
i had some issues since childhood, about family, relationships etc but i was a tough, confident girl. i used to start every single day smiling no matter what i've been through. most of them passed, many of them added... one day i began to get tired which is called depression. i overcome some of them, life is worth living. that way i started to swing between good and bad moods. i was at college where i met lots of joy besides lots of frustrations and failure which brought an emotional break up. this time depression was deep and i started considering suicide, planning it. being physically abused by my family in a violant fight when i visited them was the last stroke and i cut both my forearms 8 times each which are deep, my throat which is not that deep, and my legs which is irrelevant with suicide, with broken glass. i had reasons which makes sense but action was totally insane. may be all i had to do was just to left the fight and get some air. i was hardly survived after being stiched all night. it was some kind of crisis, i did not feel physical pain but i was emotionally finished. doctors did their job but they make me feel worse with stupid jokes etc which was brutal like saying wounds was symmetrical. when i calm down i just wondered why i've done that and decided to go to a psychiatrist. doctors say what i've told above deep depression, frustrations, last stroke etc and that the anger i felt has turned to myself. i was diagnosed depression, manic depression, borderline personality seperately in time which i do not believe in any of them anymore. its been 8 years. at first in such deep pain i did not care the scars, just ignored them, get help mentally which i must have done before. i've learnt to get help and that those awful feelings can be overcomed, and that there is always an alternative. but i've been through all the things you've told. after recovering the scars did matter. plastic surgents tried to make the heal scars at the level of skin and in a light color not red or purple. i used some silicon gels and injections for that and it worked. but for the wounds were so deep they did not recommend dermabrassion for worse scars can come out under the surface. than i tried a surgical operation which they remove scars and than stitch again. scars only got thinner about 1 mm. the surgery was hard and i waited for months to heal without moving my arms second time for the scars not to open wide and used a special pressure making bandage to hold the scars in level of the skin. all these worked the scars are thinner, in level of normal skin and not red or purple but i've always told that this was the best to achieve. my friends really supported me by not living alone, buy saying that everyone can come to that point sometime. at first years i moved on didnt care about the scars that much. i get support from friends, cousins etc. they all told not to get embarrased and that its ok to wear tops etc. i did that near people i'm in a intimate relationship but at school and formal situations i kept wearing long slieves.
continued...
i hate the looks I get from people when they see the scars on my forearms. Its like they think Im unstable, bad and dangerous. I wish I could get rid of them but mine are white and raised. I sort of cut my arm so that i cut past the fat and i dont think i will ever be able to get rid of them. I'm thinking of either fake tanning to make them less obvious or trying liquid latex skin makeup to cover up the textural flaw of them and even them out.
Hi John,
I work in this field and wanted to add a few more things to your very informative blog.
If the scars are fairly new, the trick is to try to get your body to heal them. Olive Oil and Abocado Oil, both from the food store work GREAT! Use them 3 times per day, you want to keep the scars nice and moist. The same can be achieved with a product called BIO OIL, but it expensive by comparison.
Also, silicone patches work great even on older scars.
If all the above fails, you need to look into skin needling and laser. Skin needling is cheaper and uses your body's own natural healing elements. Stay away from dermal rollers, althought they stimulate circulation in the area, they are not targeted enough to make a difference for these sort of scars.
Lasers have been deregularised in the UK which is good new as it will drive the prices down but bad news because anyone can now set up with a laser practice. So be very careful as they are lethal in the wrong hands.
Also, please, please resist the urge to tattoo over the scars, it looks horrid and draws more attention to the area.
For all of you reading, self harm scars are common and anyone worth anything would never judge you for them. There is not a single person on earth that has not gone through deep emotional pain. They will in no way stop you from getting a job, making friends and having a relationship....furthermore....they will help you weed out shallow judgemental people that you don't want to associate with in the first place.
Best of luck to everyone!
hi everyone,
firstly, i'm so happy this website exists because seeing how normal and sane you all seem has really made me think i'm not the weirdo i thought i was haha. I'm 16 now but I have been through a 3/4 year period of on and off self harming. I was quite young when it started and i was only making a few minor cuts on my forearms but when people started to notice i moved onto my stomach because i didn't want them to see. the scars don't really bother me at the moment but i know in the future if I have children there will be a lot of people seeing my scars so thanks for the advice on getting rid of them :) what i didnt understand though was why i wanted to do it so much, it wasn't stemmed from sadness or anger, i just think i was bored of my life? making bigger and bigger cuts was sort of a rush and althought no one has ever seen them i felt sort of proud of them when i did them... i've grown out of it now but it's made me think that there must be so many people doing it because i'm generally quite a happy person but i have a stomach covered in scars...
thanks for everyone who has written on here though it has all been really helpful :) x
hey john,
i want to thank you for making this site. I'm only 14 and I've gone through hell, and i will admit cutting is a horrible way to get rid of anger, but i didn't know what to do. I've finally got through the troubles, and the only thing holding me back are my embarrassing scars, i don't want anyone at school to see them, so now hopefully i can fix it.
thanks a ton!!
Thanks for posting this.I have scars like cutting in blade on my hands.So please provide any good remedy for removing scar totally or reducing it within 2 months.It will be helpful if anyone helps me.
Thank you for posting this, fingers crossed I can get rid of my scars before prom...
One other thing, it may just be me but your red subtitles are difficut to read. Thanks again.
Hey(: Im 14 and I've been a self harmer for like a year now. My parents want me to go to counselling but I really dont want help or anything.. I just need someone to talk to other than my parents:/ I used to cut every day then last week I stopped for a week, but unfortunatly I cut again on Friday 25th march.. There is 54 cuts all down my wrist.. And I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks. Anyone know any ways I can get rid of scars and new cuts in 2 weeks? Like really good ways? Msn me if you do, jezmie@hotmail.co.uk (: muchlove<3
Hello! I started cutting when I was 14 and stopped when I was 22, (2 years ago!) And these scars are just so frustrating! I have about 50 on my left arm, about 100 on my right and about 20 on each ankle. The only people that know about them is my boyfriend and my best friend so hiding them is a big must around everyone else. Summers coming up again and the thought of having to burn alive in long sleeved tops is just annoying me already. I can't use any creams or anything, as they mostly get rid of redness and none of mine are red anymore. They're all super white and really raised. I think the only thing I can do about it is the skin graft things or getting tattoos. I love the idea of getting a tattoo to cover but the thought I might change my mind and not like what I got is a bit scary. But as someone else commented, "I get plenty of judging looks for having my arms tattooed, which makes me wish I didn't get it, then I remember that I'm covered in scars anyway." So I suppose if I don't like it in the end, I'd just keep it covered up, which is what I do now anyway hahaha. Anyway, I kinda got used to just covering them up all the time when I'm with people that don't know and if it gets too hot in summer then I'll jsut stay somewhere cool. But now I've got a job in an office and it gets so hot in there and its not even summer properly yet and I know I'm going to burn alive and people will ask me why I am wearing long sleeved stuff in summer and I really don't know what I'm going to tell them!
Someone commented about being worried about finding a partner who won't find their scars odd, and I'd just like to say it is possible! I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now, and he's so used to them he doesn't even really notice them anymore. He's not really a fan of tattoos, but he supports my ideas of getting them tattooed over. (And the fact I would love to have two sleeves anyway haha.)
But they really do restrict things you can do if you're not up for whipping them out in front of strangers. I can't go swimming, (I havn't swam in 10 years now! I miss it!) I don't go to clubs and things, as I don't want to wear long sleeve tops with long trousers... I'd look way overdressed (Although i'm not too keen on clubs anyway, being a solitary sort of person ^^)
I can't even work in some places due to the uniforms. (Before applying for a job I actually used to check out if they had to wear uniforms and if they were short sleeved I jsut wouldn't bother.)
I've had nightmares about people I know seeing them and their awful reactions and it just makes me more vigilant about covering them! I swear its taking over my life.
Every few minutes I check my arms are covered, that my sleves havnt slipped up my arm, I cant get things from top shelves at work and things cause it makes my sleeve go up and you can see them. If i reach for something on the other side of my desk and my scars are on show I quickly cover them up and have to check no one saw. Its blinking frustrating and I just want them gone. :(
I, like someone else who commented, find myself admiring peoples lovely clear, perfect forearms. I seriously sit there staring at them on the bus and it kinda upsets me a bit. :( Why the hell did I do this to myself XD
/Ramble
Has any one tried any of these and did it work specifically very old scars???
Hey everyone, try scarguard MD, it works on all kinds of scars. It's a bit expensive but really worth it. I have used it on red scars white scars link scars and keloids and it works wonderfully. You can get it online or at walmart or cvs. Google it and check it out. Don't give up, love you all <3
Here is the link, they have a few different products that can work depending on what you want the ending result to be: www.scarguard.com
Hey John,
I recently started cutting in May. I'm only 12, and I have alot of things going on in my life. I have 2 pretty big scars from cutting with my fingernails when I first started. I can't get any creams or anything because my parents don't know. I have some Shea butter Stretch Mark Removal cream and I am wondering if it will possibly help fade the scars. I'm going to try it and aloe vera.
I have slipped up a few times, and like most people said on here, I had to make up lies and excuses. The lies and excused keep getting bigger and more shameful. Only my close friends know the real truth. I am trying to stop cutting, but it's getting a little hard. Most people don't understand, and I hate being told that I am just doing it for attention, or that I think it's cool. I'm not. I have a friend that has the same problem, and we try to help each other get through this. My cutting is mainly about my dysfunctional family and so is hers. We both have the scars, and if I find a way to make them fade, I will tell her. So if any of you have a home remedy that works well on new scars, please email it to me at:
dunlapm13@live.com
Best of wishes,
Loveuall♥
~Michelle
my only daughter is going to be 18 yrs old, she also having many scars on her fore arms by self injuries but during 1year she has stopped it.how the scar marks can be vanished?
Hi John,
Thanks for posting this! I was reading through the comments and although they were hugely depressing and pretty much completely un-encouraging, its remarkable to read about people "just like me."
First, I want to post this link:
http://www.scartreatmentassociation.com/
This website by the Scar Treatment Association was very helpful to me. At the bottom they list the top 15 scar treatments on the market from most to least effective in various categories citing numerous lab tests and personal testaments. The site also explains the different kinds of scars and scar treatments.
Second, someone asked about how to get scars to heal "nicely"- I personally would avoid going to the hospital for stitches (obvious, I know). Even though they will heal nicely, it’s a WHOLE other can of worms, especially if your underage and you show up with serious unexplained injuries that need costly attention. Think of that as a deterrent, haha. I found butterfly bandages very helpful. They are like a step below stitches. It’s a butterfly-shaped bandage- you stick the "wings" on either side of the cut and the middle (which isn't sticky) over the wound to force the cut "closed" so it can heal properly. I would get gauze (it won’t stick) and large bandages to put over it and you're good to go. Also, if anyone asks while you’re buying it, tell them you're putting together a first-aid kit.
Speaking of lame excuses, I often tell people that innocently ask that I volunteer at a humane society with big dogs and such. They usually accept it. But, (and I guess this is personal to me but if it helps anyone else) if I feel like someone genuinely wants to know/is concerned/is onto me, I just tell them the truth. If you feel like you have to tell the truth in these situations, I also recommend just... blurting it out- Or in other words, NOT making a big deal about it. It will end up drawing less attention to you :)
Lastly, I might as well throw in what I've found helpful about scar treatment that I myself have tried. I used mederma RELIGIOUSLY for weeks (the package says improvement starts at 4-6 weeks, but it need months to totally work). After 4 months I was completely frustrated because I thought mederma was the best out there for gels and creams, and I hadn’t made ANY improvement. In this time frame I tried other mederma-like products as well(products that also use onion extract and other proven natural substances), but no-go. This is what I have discovered since: 1.) Gels work better that creams because scar tissue and skin in general absorbs gels better, so pick gels. 2.) Silicon works better than organic/natural ingredients. It has been proven in many labs and I personally can attest as well. 3.) Concentration is key. Some ingredients might be helpful alone (such as vitamins), but when added to the actual formulas, often in the wrong concentration, they turn into nothing more than marketing hype. That all said, sorry John, but lemon juice doesn’t really work.
For the record, I'm using Scar Guard now, and in the first week I've noticed more improvement than months of the other gels. The edges of my scars are already losing their ferocious red color and they seem to be smoothing down as well.
Thanks for this post...kinda helps. I have many small scars on my thighs and some on my arms from 12 years of self harm which is still continuing unfortunately. I have one scar on my leg which in one word is horrendous....the result of a bottle of brandy and a deliberatelt bent razor blade has resulted in (3 years on) a scar 11.5 cm long and 8mm wide. It seemed fine at first, but after a year of having it when i began wearing shorts again people kept staring and asking. The reply they got was always the same 'its just a scar..its old'. Then the nightmares started. I would dream that there was a snake crawling over me, and i kept scratching at it in my sleep trying to get rid of it thinking it was a snake.
But the time has come that at 25 years old I am going to do something about it. And although I dont have the money to fund laser scar removal I am going to go to a GP and explain everything and hopefully get scar removal from NHS. Which after over 13 years now of self harming and never ever telling a single person...not a person...not my parents, not even a best friend...its going to be a big step. Jumping out a plane at 2 miles high, and riding a sports bike at 190mph is second nature to me but this is and has been terrifying me for month but it's going to happen!!!
PS.....For my smaller scars (which still reuired stitches done by myself) I used Mama Mio See No Scar solution....contains dimethicone (silicone) which builds up a protective barrier over the scar to encourage healing from within. Flattens raised scars and lightens red scars...pricey but works...(try ebay for a cheap half used bottle).
Wish me luck!!!
This post really helped, I haven't tried any methods but I will give the lemon juice one a go tomorrow. I am only 15, I've only done it three times but it looks really bad. I've hidden it from my parents for about 7-8 months, since I was 14 now and I'm terrified of telling them or showing them, they will think I'm sick and twisted, telling them is NOT an option at all, my best friend does it and my mum has seen hers and she thinks she's crazy, I don't want her seeing mine at all. Anyway, I was hoping somebody could give me any advice about hiding them or getting rid of them, I get really upset at times because I cant wear short sleeves, they've already caught me doing the minor one once, I don't want them seeing the worse ones, not to mention I can't afford treatment at all, I can only use items in the house to help the healing, if any body has got any methods of using household foods or liquids for treatment, please could you tell me, it'd mean so much to me, I'm only young and I really need help ):
I haven't self-harmed in a long long time but I still have horrible scars. I have to hide them at work as I work with drug/alcohol dependency and feel it wouldn't be appropriate for them to see. I've hidden it in all my jobs to be honest and it's a burden every day. I'm looking at British Red Cross Camouflage make up and very long gloves for my wedding. Plastic surgery helped remove a more raised scar but skin grafts are very obvious and painful from my experience. They fade and fade. People judge, stare and ask questions that are none of their business. Those who truly care will not see the scars, only what's inside.
thanks for this im 13 and i do a lot of acting jobs it would be diffucult to explain this to most
thanks so much this will be a great, I'm 15 and was a mess (still am) but it's getting a little easier as time passes although it is hard I've only relapsed once and have been basically clean for about five months... if you are reading this stay strong <3
-Sarah
my gf used to self harm and shes overweight as well so appearance is obveiously an isse she always mentions being yucky but i know this is a desperate cry for help i told her about the lemon juice and olive oil but then she figures that since fat melts in heat why not do all of that in the sun so she went on a hot day in the sun with the olive oil and the lemon and she slowly started to marinate and cook, and due to her being fat she started to eat herself and she is no longer here today.
Thanks for the tips. I have heaps of scars, and going through the process of trying to get over depression and self-harm, the scars just keep tearing me down and stuff.
um hi, im 15 and i started cuting wen i was 13, wen i was 14 i was diagnosed with bipolar, i have tryed and tryed to stop but cant i have over 100 deep scars on my body most on my arm, i want to get rid of most of them but the one on my wrist where i had cut my vein, i wont mind keeping it just to remind me of my stupidness... hope these tips work! thanks
Pt 1
Hello all. I read these posts when I was trying to find information on laser surgery as a way of getting rid of self harm scars. I was pretty much ready to go and do it, when I happened upon a really good way of improving the appearance of my scars. Before I go into detail I would like to say that I have linear hypertrophic scarring on one forearm - it's not very bad, and has been around for a while so it's completely white. Before doing what I'm going to suggest (or going for laser treatment or any other treatment that involves damaging the skin slightly to encourage it to regenerate) make absolutely 100% sure that you do not have keloid scarring. Do your research and if need be, consult a doctor (that's what I did - embarrassing as hell, but he was really cool about it and I know for sure that I don't have keloid scarring).
So... I stopped self-harming about 8 years ago. One session was the source of pretty much all of my scarring, as I freaked out after I realised that it had scarred so badly and stopped.
Ever since then my scars have been a source of embarrassment and social discomfort. My father tells me to just be open about them but it's hard because with something physical on a place that everyone sees, like your arm (in my case). You don't have the option of choosing how or when you tell people - they notice, you explain, it's really awkward and you hope to hell they don't judge you for it. I also have a fantastic very high powered job and esp as a woman in a male-dominated work place, I don't want anyone seeing anything that could be perceived as a sign of instability (I'm not saying it is, but unfortunately I have experience, as I imagine quite a few of us do, with people jumping to negative conclusions).
So after having learnt to stand in certain ways, pull my jumper down constantly, and always wear long sleeves every-friggin-where, you will not be surprised that I am fairly chuffed about this-
I had had an appointment with the Harley Medical Group and had one set up with LPSA when a friend of mine told me that she was going to have a procedure done on her face for acni scarring, using a dermaroller. A dermaroller is a stick with a tiny roller at the end, a bit like what you'd use to paint walls with but obviously a lot smaller, and the end is covered in tiny needles. If you want to see what one looks like have a bash at google or on youtube, where you can also find tutorials. I know that laser treatment, while used for post-operative scars etc, is also used for acne scarring, so I looked into whether or not dermarollers can be used for scarring other than acne scarring and found that they can be (the idea is very similar, that you damage the skin several layers down in tiny tiny points to get it to heal itself).
pt 2
A session at a salon costs about £300, but you can buy fairly heavy duty dermarollers online (I got mine on ebay for about £16). My dermaroller says for use by physicians only, which I chose to ignore - obviously if you do that (as I did) just make sure you are aware of the risks etc, as you will have no one to blame but yourself if it goes tits up. You can also get ones with smaller needles for home use. I disinfected both the skin and the dermaroller before use with surgical spirit and you should never ever share a dermaroller with someone else. Although it does not really break the skin - it leaves it pink but should not make you bleed - you are still making your skin vulnerable to infection, so be careful.
I have used my dermaroller once on my arm, and I was not too vigorous with it as I wanted to see how my skin reacted to a gentle session first. It has been 4 days since then and I have seen a visible improvement every day. My skin was pink the day after use and has calmed considerably but even now that it does not look irritated at all it continues to improve. I'm very hopeful that I will get an enormous improvement with this over time. I have one large scar and several smaller scars - none of them are as raised as they were, they are also closer to the colour of the skin around them. I am very impressed. Honestly, I can't believe I've found something that I can do at home that is so effective. I will probably do this once a week for maybe 6 sessions and see how they look after that. I am very hopeful, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
Words of caution: do not expose skin that has been treated with a dermaroller/laser or any other slightly destructive therapy to sunlight, as it is fragile. I am going away in a few days to somewhere quite warm and am going to leave my 2nd session for an extra week because of it :( - I would advise others to exercise similar levels of caution, and always wear sunblock after use if the skin is exposed.
I use bio oil to help with the healing; it seems to be working for me.
Final, v v important. I have not self harmed in 8 years, and am at no risk of relapse. A dermaroller has a lot of needles on it, and will cause a small amount of pain. If this is at all likely to trigger you, DO NOT DO IT! You want less scarring, not more, and this should be about healing yourself, not hurting yourself.
I genuinely hope that this helps someone. I am terrified of posting online about this as it is something I keep very very secret, but I feel like what I have to say may actually be able to help someone. I may cross post this as I think it's important and cannot be bothered to re-write the whole friggin story - swear I have RSI.
Good luck and hope this helps!
Thanks!
Advice is good - I think i'll try vitamin E Oil, and Bio oil. May be I'll start saving for laser treatment.
And it's comforting to see such an amount of comments. I think people harm themselves for different reasons - if you feel really embarrassed about something - cutting or burning takes that feeling right away. Most cut scars and all burn scars disappeared on their own, though some stayed, and that was a big surprise, like WTF, i'm not THAT kind of person, i was just messing..
I agree that it's really bad to have noticeable scars, but it's almost as bad to have scars that are almost invisible if you don't tell about them to anybody - you can't just forget about them because there is always a chance that someone will notice them, and you don't know how they are gonna react. But it's not that bad, for people who never shared this I can tell that others, even those closest won't change their opinion of you as much as you think. So it's better to tell someone - anyone. By keeping this to myself i wasted many years of my life.
You are not alone.
I have extremely noticeable scars across the whole length of my left arm. Lots of keloid scars too. I live in the tropics and have given up on trying to hide them. Why should I be overheating just so that other people don't have to see things that make them uncomfortable? That said I do wear long sleeves if I ever go for job interviews or anything like that. I hate my scars but am learning to live with them. They are a source of shame to me still, but also a strong reminder of where I have been in the past and where I don't want to be again.
Thank you so much!
I have "ugly" on my leg and i want to get rid of it before summer. This will hopefully help! And ever since it started to get warm i have been so self concious about it its crazy. <3 and to whoever still cuts obviously i know what your going through, but its not the way to cope. Im 14 and have learned that. People love you, and you may be thinking im lying but its true. <3
It makes me sad- I just had to count... but I've been cutting for 9 years. I made it a good 6 months last time- and then relapsed.
I stopped cutting my arms for a long time and only did my ankles and legs. With this past relapse I have marks once again on my arms and have found myself desperate for a job- and waitressing seems to be the only thing I can land right now. I can't wear my normal jewelry to cover them. I don't know what to do.
i have a skin graft scar on my forehead but it is not the way i was before it only makes me feel ashamed. Please help me, how do i deal with this scar? it is 3 years old now.
hi john..
congrats on putting this post up it's ever so helpful!!
I have been cutting myself with glass for over 6 months now and my parents were furious when they found out I self harm yesterday and my dad told me to look on the net for something to remove these scar.
I have lots of scars all over my left arm and my sister's engagment is next month.
I would love to get rid of my scars before that so that people won't question me about it.
Therefore I was wondering if you know how to remove these white-glass scars?
thank you xx
P.S: my scars are quite thick and long
Wow, I am so glad I found this site. I cannot believe how many people self harm. What I am surprised by is how young so many are. You may be shocked when i say i am 49 years old and have been cutting myself for the past 6 months. I am now in pyscho therapy being treated for borderline personality disorder. I want to thank you for your information and i am sending love and hugs to each and every person who has posted on here. maybe if someone had shown me some love and support when i was young then i wouldnt be where i am today, about to turn 50 and my left forearm is covered in scars. i hate them so much and i hate looking at them everyday. i last cut 4 days ago and was definetely my best yet. i even carved FML on my arm, which made me feel much better at the time but now i hate myself even more. i have loved reading so many stories on hear and admire those who have been able to stop cutting themselves. i am hoping that as my therapy continues that i will be able to stop. thank you all again x x jenny
This website is absolutely the best i've been on. im 19 and have been suicidal, and self inflicting harm on myself since i was 10. a couple weeks ago i got upset an cut myself bad enoug that i had to be taken t the hospital. i found out i have borderline personality disorder, severe mood swings, and depression. I feel mortified when i look at my scars. i hate lying to ppl an telling them i got cut on glass. if only that was the case but for me i know what really happened an im so ashamed. i hate getting weird looks from people an snide remarks saying im just seeking attention. i hope that no one else goes through this. i'd do anything to get rid of my scars. like some have said i thought about tattoos. i just couldnt handle getting tattoos on my arms and not being able to get job, or hearing ppls criticism. if anyone has been trying these methods or any other method please post what your using because im desperate.
Can anyone tell me what it means to want the scars more than the cutting itself. I sort of feel like I want to mark myself, to make it obvious that I'm fucked up. I have trichotillomania and clinical depression as well as general and social anxiety. I had a drug addiction for 6yrs but have been clean for 1yr. I'm sick of all the questions that come when I tell my story.
Fighting the urge to cut my face as well.
(p.s. before people start telling me to get help etc; my psychiatrist knows all of the above. I've got a few years of experience with getting help for my mental illnesses, I've been clean of drugs since I went to rehab last year and I've dealt with my anxieties/phobias to the point that I have a much better quality of life, this is the 4th breakdown I've had in my 21yrs. I'm checking myself into hospital in 2 days and working with my dr and group therapy to deal with my depression. I'm just interested if anyone who has personal experience with self harm can shed some light on how I feel.
There is nothing worse than looking at oother woman with "scarless" skin and thinking: I'll never look like that again. I'd rather be cheated on, maybe eeven give up a kidney..just to have that back. I'm 18, yes female, and I have over 150 scars on my right arm, 25 on my thighs, 5 on my breast, and 10 on my back ( I'm pretty flexible). I am an introvert, so I only have a few good friends, and I don't need to hide my scars when hanging out with them. Unfortunately my boyfriend, whom I love to death, is a Virgo and also an extrovert. I'm constantly staring at his "cousins" and friends and will get so jealous that I would take it out on him and once even tried to jump out of his vehicle because I felt so insignificant. It has affected my self esteem, my sex life, social life and even my studies. I always wear a jacket to school, even when its 35 degrees. I don't feel comfortable exposing my scars, especially during love making. And similar to a previous poster, Only feel better when drunk. These scars were originally from arguments with my boyfriend, although my low self esteem is the main blame. I am using bio oil now and I am definitely going to try the lemons. I would like to say to those thinking about starting or doing it again. Do not. Nobody understands more how hard it is to stop. It feels good, point. Twisted maybe but it gives you a senseless relief...for a few seconds. Those scars affect your lifestyle -Immensely-... If anyone would like some tips on stopping or just wants to talk about this, here's my email, tersia21@mobileemail.vodafonesa.co.za ill be happy to help, and I do know sharing personal details is not safe but I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart and it feels like the right thing. I care for you all, we do not know each other and yet through these unfortunate happenings we understand and most probably already care about each other. Stay positive** :)
Hiya Tinks,
I was searching the Internet for ways to get rid of self harm scars when I cam across your post. I was horrified that you have been treated so badly by the medical profession. I know that sometimes we are treated like this because we are seen to be taking up time and resources at busy emergency departments and that because we have done this to ourselves we ought to be taught a lesson.
I have been increadibully lucky in that my GP was understanding, caring and always respectful. I really suggest you need to find another doctor or although you shouldnt have to, educate the staff. Tell them what is happening for you. Tell them that it is hurting you or that you need more stitches ( you probably already have).
I found that if I got a negative reaction from someone then I would tell them exactly how it was for me for example, I would dissociate and not even know I had self harmed until I would come around and need medical attention.
Why would I dissociate... Because I was severely abused as a child and something would trigger a spell.
I would tell them about my life for example that I had a great job, fantastic relationship and that one day something triggered me to dissociate and the next thing I knew I was hospitalized and life was never the same again.
Let them know you are 100% human, you are a person for goodness sake. You are intelligent and hoping to go to Oxford. You deserve to be treated with respect and to receive the best medical care available. Don't accept anything less.
I hope things get better for you. I hope that one day you are able to control the urge to cut. I hope that you don't become too scarred because then it might not be possible to remove the scars and like me you will have a constant reminder of what you have done to yourself and that can be so hard to live with (for me anyway)
Good luck!
After reading this I thought it was very enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this piece together. I once again find myself spending way to much time both reading and commenting. But who cares, it was still worth it!
www.scarremovalcenter.com
I've been here myself and I just wanted to share from the other side...you think that when you finally have the courage to say "hey I'm not ok" that people are going to rush to your aid. You've done your job and help is coming. But that's not often the case. Parents, counselors and all those people we were always told as kids will be there for you don't. Maybe they won't, maybe they think they're helping and they're not.
You can't change how they'll handle your problems and its not easy to deal with things on your own, especially when you're young and living in the fishbowls of your town and school. I get that. It happened to me. I didn't want to hurt myself. I just wanted someone to help me stop hurting and I don't know. I guess I saw enough tv to see that this is one way people cry for help. After cutting I turned to peeling the skin off my feet and honestly, I'd say try that if you have to do something because at least nobody will think twice about torn up feet and its very easy to hide.
I was 18 when I cut my wrist. It scarred over in a keloid and I've had to explain it for the past 10 years.
What I didn't realize then was that I was assuring that the pain I felt as a kid would be a pain I carry for the rest of my life. I'm a photographer now and work with my hands constantly. My clients can easily see my scars. There's no perfect way to hide them and bracelets make my skin crawl. Its unprofessional and will affect your futures.
I have a husband and two children now. Imagine your little girl running her finger down your scar and asking why its there. Its awful. And I did it to me.
Cutting is a release now, but its a public ghost story the rest of your life. Its so hard to see through that narrow tunnel and really feel the weight of the consequences, but try. Maybe imagine your own baby girl looking at you and wondering why
I am 16 and started at about age 14. All mine are thin and deep due to the knife I use. My family can't know about my cutting and I have to hide them carefully. I'm hoping that this cream will help. I know I cant stop and I know it'll keep getting worse but this can keep them hidden and make my life smoother. Thanks for posting this I needed something other than my black jacket :)
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Im 21 and the last time i self harmed was when i was 16 and i still have loads of white scars on my left arm. I work in a mental health hospital so i can never have my scars on show as some patients do or have self harmed in the past. Its a very warm hospital and have to wear a tunic so i have to wear a long sleeved top underneath or a cardi over the top just to cover them up from everybody seeing them. I have to wear long sleeves throughout summer aswell i get really frustrated with myself n think why did i do this to myself! It gets me down and i think about it everyday and look at other peoples arms wishing mine were the same. I complain im warm n people say to me 'take your jacket off then' , i wish i could. Ive tried bio oil loads of times and that hasnt helped to fade them. I was thinking of going to the doctors to see if they could suggest anything but keep thinking they wont be able to help and i will have to tell them about it. Just wanted some ideas off people and what they think? Most of the treatments ive read about are mainly aimed for red and raised scars, mine are all flat and very white so very noticeable. Will appriciate any help and suggestions thank you.
What kind of New facelift surgery or rejuvenation did Angelina and Madonna have done?
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